• The way I do my ftp test starts off with 5 minutes of watching motivational videos of lance Armstrong eyeing up Ullrich on the L'Alpe d'Huez. I rub my legs with hot butter whilst doing this to get warmed up. After I'm feeling suitably limber, I spend 8 minutes getting dressed so I can really give my max performance for 20 minutes. Once I'm fully into my Rapha I jump on the turbo and go straight in because 20 minutes is hard enough as it is.

    For the first 5 minutes of the test I like to ride around 20W harder than my last best because whats the point in testing unless you're better than before. Around 10 minutes the pain usually becomes too much and I give up. I like to curse and hurl abuse at how fucking shit turbo training is during this phase. About 30 seconds after that I find the eye of the tiger and jump back on. I smash the next 9 minutes, at the start of the final minute I think about Van Dam avenging his brothers honour against Tong Po. This gives me the strength to pump out a real strong 45 seconds or so after which I stop because 19.45 rounds up to 20.00 mathematically anyway.

    I then do some maths to determine accurate 60 minute FTP. I usually do this by taking the average of the first 10 minutes, *0.95 *1.05 +10W + last 9.45min /2 +10W. After that I look at where I stand on the ftp chart of truth and realise I am nothing. I then sell my turbo. And then buy another turbo a few months later because my mum didn't raise a quitter.

  • If you could post a video of you rubbing your legs with "hot butter", I'd find that most useful.

    Many thanks in advance!

  • If you could post a video of you rubbing your legs with "hot butter", I'd find that most useful.

    Many thanks in advance!

    I fear for what purpose my videos would be used for.

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