In the news

“I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate,” she reportedly said.

#1stworldlel

The onion surely, no?

“I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate,”

The 12 year old kid's mother just died, so you know, perfect time to sue him.

She'd better hope ghosts aren't really. Thems are grounds for some serious haunting.

Best comment:

If only she'd had a gun she could have shot him before any harm was done.

That kid doesn't need punishment, he needs GUNISHMENT!

I liked this comment:

Oh, that reminds me. There should be a new release of Ubuntu this month (the other half yearly release is in April, which is why it came to mind on reading this article).

Mostly because I have no idea how it's relevant. And kind of like that it's not. Because that story is a bit balls.

April fools?

There's something else going on there. There has to be.

Agreed.

He had been riding his first two-wheeled bicycle – which was bright red, according to testimony – around his home.

Aha!

#bloodycyclists

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34519334

Wasn't sure whether to put here or WTF thread - stupidity that makes Emma Way look like an amateur...

Fuck me that is terrible. I wish I didn't know now.

Hah :)

Denied
http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/boy-12-trial-conn-breaking-aunt-wrist-article-1.2395756?a&utm_content=bufferda2a3&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=NYDailyNewsTw

Not 'news' as such:
http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/oct/14/exxons-climate-lie-change-global-warming

he accidentally broke her wrist when he was 8.

Her now-12-year-old nephew

Fair enough - litigation may drag on over the years.

[As] her lawyer and Noniewicz made their closing arguments at Superior Court.
Connell sat quietly with a black wrist guard on her left arm.

Just in case the child comes back to finish the job.

4 years later, she still wears a cast.

4 reelz?

Camouflage, Air Max style.

This makes me sad. The Flaming Lips used to be good. Now they're just an indie rock version of Terry Richardson:

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/oct/14/miley-cyrus-to-play-naked-show-with-flaming-lips

theguardian.com/us-news/2015/­oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug­-broke-wrist?

There's something else going on there. There has to be.

It looks as though it's about health insurance costs.

From the start, this was a case was about one thing: getting medical bills paid by homeowner’s insurance. Our client was never looking for money from her nephew or his family. It was about the insurance industry and being forced to sue to get medical bills paid. She suffered a horrific injury. She had two surgeries and is potentially facing a third. Prior to the trial, the insurance company offered her one dollar. Unfortunately, due to Connecticut law, the homeowner’s insurance company could not be identified as the defendant.

Our client was very reluctant to pursue this case, but in the end she had no choice but to sue the minor defendant directly to get her bills paid. She didn’t want to do this anymore than anyone else would. But her hand was forced by the insurance company. We are disappointed in the outcome, but we understand the verdict. Our client is being attacked on social media. Our client has been through enough.

Easy answer - give the kid a gun, give the aunt a gun, and give guns to their lawyers.

About 17 years ago, one of my nephews picked up a small plastic truck full of lego bricks and hurled it at my unshod foot. It fucking hurt. A corner of the truck landed directly on one of my toenails and it eventually went black and fell off, and it's never been right since.

I would very much enjoy suing the little bastard over it, even 17 years later.

Have you called 0800-783-5437?

Sexy singles waiting for your call.

Aliens?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/forget-water-on-mars-astronomers-may-have-just-found-giant-alien-megastructures-orbiting-a-star-near-a6693886.html

Ghost children?

remember when he shut down all those fire stations and rape crisis centers? that was TOP LOLZ as well. and look at his hair! it's just crazy!

#ledge