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looks like you ladies have experienced some nasty stuff. most of the times i get 'sexy balance' or 'nice bike' etc., which doesnt bother me really, but who knows when it's gonna come out...
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sexy balance is a new one! Odd thing to equate to sexiness.
I ride to work with my g/f and often see her up ahead getting shouted at. It is incredibly difficult to know what to do so it has been really helpful to here everyone on here share their experiences, even if we remain impotent to what is a fucking bullshit part of life that doesnt seem to be changing in the near future.
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even if we remain impotent to what is a fucking bullshit part of life that doesnt seem to be changing in the near future.
Don't be too defeatist about it, though. You absolutely have the power to help, by being a decent human being and encouraging the people you know to do the same. It's not slipping into a phone box and then bursting back out again with your pants on over your trousers and your jaw set heroically, ready to fix everything in one fell swoop, but it's what makes long term socio-cultural change happen.
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I think even being aware and mindful of the problem is helpful. There's plenty of good stuff out there online about men and feminism (remembering that feminism isn't about man bashing, but about equality for all), and what you can do.
Been wanting to post this comic for awhile, seems like as good a time as any!
http://www.octopuspie.com/2015-09-05/827-828-yeah-man/ -
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/self-care-street-harassment/
On Friday after a killer day doing clinical reasoning workshops for intensive care and being congratulated for doing well, i was unlocking my bike to ride home and a guy stopped to ask me if I had twenty seconds. He was trying to catch my eye and grin and I instinctively thought uuuggghhh pls no. He proceeded to tell me that he just HAD to tell me how pretty he thought I was and what I was about etc. I said I had a boyfriend, not interested soz mate, trying to keep in mind that being too rude often inflames things and makes it worse. I tried to move my bike out and he moved in front of my front wheel so one leg was either side. I told him he had to move because I was going home. He carries on chatting and trying to engage me, eventually moved slightly and I just moved past him. While I was getting on my bike he was all like babe you're cycling the wrong way, riding out of my life when u should be riding to Liverpool Street station and getting a train to Essex with me. My form of self care was to be disgusted, drink a bottle of prosecco and carry on celebrating the start of the weekend. Creeps are gross.
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If anyone is feeling flush atm and considering buying a Colnago, I'd give it a second thought...https://twitter.com/Colnagoworld/status/657487554699243520
Be warned it's guaranteed to piss right you off. Unfuckingbelievable.
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I fucking hope so. I posted it in the Colnago appreciation thread too.
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The thing that really gets me is all sheer number of commentators (both on the original tweet and in the cycling weekly comments) that don't think it's not on... sigh
There was a stupid comment on the twitter about well I don't see you girls complaining about the Diet Coke ads...
(for the record I hate those ads as well, objectifying people is a stupid way of selling products.) -
This isn't so much commute related or even bicycles to be fair, but I feel the need to take it out somewhere.
This evening we had some clients over for work, they will be having a workshop with us tomorrow.
I ended up sat next to a 45-ish man from the clients side, completely randomly.
He already made a fool out of me about my name and origins before we got to the dinner.
Over dinner, he alternatively ate with my fork of my plate, touched my hair and told me how I reminded him of his 6 years old daughter.
He would touch my hands repetitively when talking.
I had no idea what to do,
I fell very very beey uncomfortable.
I ended up changing chairs to
Get away from the man.
I don't want to go to this workshop tomorrow. -
@Ecunard That is super creepy and wrong. That's harassment.
Who are you working with from your team? Can you speak to them to voice your concerns before you meet the clients today? You should be able to feel safe at work, maybe someone else can make sure you're not sat near him but to be honest it sounds like you should be able to step out of this one if someone is able to cover for you!
What a nasty man, he probably knows how uncomfortable he's making you feel and is betting on the fact that you won't say anything.
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What a nasty man, he probably knows how uncomfortable he's making you feel and is betting on the fact that you won't say anything.
+1
You should definitely bring this up with your employer - they need to have policies in place for this kind of thing. I know it's hard to do, but do it anyway.
I've brought up something similar with my own boss and I when re-read the message I sent him about it I can see how paralysed with doubt and anxiety I was about the whole thing, and how worried I was about being reasonable about it, and it was just... unnecessary. The person who had put me in that position was the unreasonable one, not me. But if I hadn't brought it up, my boss wouldn't have known, and it'd just have been yet another example of some dude creeping on a female colleague while she grits her teeth and accepts it. You shouldn't need to be in that position, client or not.
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ate with my fork of my plate
All the rest is creepy/harrassment but eating someone else's food from their plate? Too far.
Obviously we've all* done the "Are you gonna eat that? Shame to see it go to waste!" when with friends, but at a work thing I'd be a bit more restrained.*Just me then.
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About
This morning's commute (the 'ugh' edition)
Posted by
@ioreka
He was an arse. If you'd have gone out there and looked at the bikes, had a chat with the owners they would have loved it. Assumptions. It's what humans do.