Bicycle Haikus!

Shopping on my back
Damp smell of the river Thames
Means I'm nearly home

Oh, and:
https://youtu.be/Y7CyZGlI4yE

Bang bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang bang,

Finally marcom
Follows the rules of scansion
If no other rules

Eight am meeting,
Why did I give up coffee?
The sun sweats outside

I think of haiku.
Colleagues talk of procurement.
Where did it go wrong

Not enough bikes in mine, or nature.

In the yellow elms
Blue-tits hop from branch to branch.
Oh hai, taxi prick.

(They were horse chestnuts, not elms, but this is poetic licence).

Finally I'm good
Now don't lower your pennage
You can do it, Cliveo

People is jealous
Of your art they want shut you
Be strong do better

Who better of you
Can do the best best of you
Your pen can do it.

Commuter racing
Probably shouldn't but hey
Spinning is winning

Feels Autumnal out
Clear crisp, perfect for cycling
Start the day aglow

No ride in 5 days
Rain forecast tomorrow
Looks like I'll get wet

No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No there's no limit.

There. I fixed that for
you. Now you can enjoy it
playing in your head.

No no no limits
Yeah yeah yeah me fast and cool
Boom! Boss, waaa waaa waaa.

My helmet is rank
It stinks from all the dried sweat
I should wear a cap

Your crankarm fell off?
Shamefully did not apply
sufficient torque.

Mudguards - essential
for all wet riding now that
I have seen the light

I should really not
write haikus while drunk as fuck
my rhymes are way off.

It was the taper
That let me down in the end-
It was tight as fuck.

A lightweight fixed wheel
with the right gear climbs hills like
a homesick angel

Hillclimbs - Get your gear
wrong or set off too hard and
your vision turns black

Push yourself too hard
And your heart will pay the price
Take it easy please

What is pain, if not
weakness leaving the body?
I'll rest when I'm dead

Take it easy? Please!
Your heart will become the prize
Push yourself harder

Your heart will explode
Blood will spray out of your nose
Treat your heart with care

Hmm, actually,
That does sound spectacular
I'd like to see that