Epic WTF

Send yourself things with your name but their address then knock on asking for them every day until they move.

"Have you got my parcel? I'm waiting for something from Ricin-Direct."

Have @snottyotter delivered to them, until they move.

I'll get in my box ready.

Maybe they were actually away and had it redelivered somewhere else?

Oh and I love the accent thing, my best friend does the partridge, patronising plumbers and the like by going all cockney when he's a posh kid from wimbledon.

And my dad decided to have an American accent after he got tired of them saying "oh you're English, do you know princess Di?" And other stupid questions.

Maybe they were actually away and had it redelivered somewhere else?

Nah, definitely not. I handed over the parcel and then I watched the delivery guy take the parcel from my door to theirs, and then talk to them about it. And I saw the mum going to the shops and coming back, yesterday and today.

I think they are mostly just a bit weird.

I think they are mostly just a bit weird cunts.

I'm sure that's what you really meant ^_^

you dont say words like that!

U wot M8? Wasn't me said it...

I miss the old quote function :-(

I saw the mum going to the shops and coming back

Make a video of her and edit cross hairs on to it.

She won't like that and will most like ly let you take delivery of her (e.g. Smiths box set remastered by Gary Numan) and then bring it to her. You might then both share Ribena and bond.

Going to the shops you say? Death's too good for them!

Happy enough to go to the shops and (presumably) talk to and look at the checkout assistant, but not their own friendly neighbour :'(

Obviously I'm lying about the "friendly" bit, but they don't know that as they've never talked to me

I'm getting on a train tonight, I can no longer stand idly by whilst people are unfriendly in London, hopefully I don't encounter any more between Euston and bothwell's.

I am actually coming to London later, you want me to sort them out?

Some fucker's taken to stealing any deliveries that get left round the side of the house. So far they've got a bag of compost and a set of dog clippers. Not sure whether to update our 'safe place' or troll them by ordering increasingly odd, worthless things.

Leave a jiffy bag of dog shit

Will sort that too while I'm down.

Although it would've been easier if you let me know ten minutes ago.

or troll them by ordering increasingly odd, worthless things.

Like Snottyotter.

I'd say put up a cctv camera, but you'd have to order it in...

Order yourself a big bag of spiders.

You can order ladybugs easily apparently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYSxFOfrMqo