Epic WTF

Why does your wife talk to northerners in the bath? And why only drop the Rs while in the bath?

Dropping Rs in the shower can be dangerous.

Try blowing bubbles in bath, you can't use the R while doing that.

you should hear all the mockney accents come out at east drinks, it's embarrasing

I do this a bit. Dont mean to.
The worse bit is when I'm chatting to my Aussie mate. I sound like such a twat.
I'm not in the slightest bit empathetic though.
I just grew up in the Depths of the westcountry, so my own accent is useless.

Still useful for offering keys to your combine harvester and chatting up Catherine Zeta Jones

When I moved to Manchester. I used to stand in the living room repeatedly asking if anyone want tea. Then giving up seeing the confused faces, and making my own, only to get shit after for not offering.

Having lived away for 20 years. I now have to concentrate to understand my own parents.

this is the universal sign for tea

everyone knows that

Except when some twat replies "Yeah I'll have a coffee".

a CUP of coffee.

/pet pedant hate #3741 in a series.

Fancy a brew our kid?

n-won-wani-te-liok?

I've got an east coast accent (neutral, doesn't go up and down), but I occasionally get people trying to do a Scottish accent when they speak to me which is invariably a shite Glaswegian impression that sounds almost Irish.

To be sure, to be sure.

I went to university in york, a mere 100 or so miles from my home in durham. Freshers week my mate who has a cross Glasgow/Geordie accent, thanks to living up the road with Glaswegian parents, joins me in the student union. We proceed with our best chat up procedures and at one point a lovely but ultimately dim young lady says to my barely comprehensible mate..."I know you're a Geordie but why are you with an Australian..."

I live less that 300 yds from him and my parents have never left the north east you dozy woman. He thought it was hilarious and I milked the aussie angle for all of 15 mins before I got bored.

I would never give someone coffee in a cup.

mug.

Well you say that......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQNKrRoyxKY




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQNKrRoyxKY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQNKrRoyxKY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQNKrRoyxKY

Almost seems like a Tim and Eric sketch.
Breathtaking.

I want to put his nose through the back of his head when he speaks to me in that cod Mancunian accent...?

Isn't that a natural reaction to a Mancunian accent anyway?

Parcelforce man comes round yesterday. "I have a parcel for your neighbour, but they're not in, would you take it for them?"

SURE THING, I tell him, and take the parcel in. I try the neighbours later but don't get an answer. Ok, so I'll try tomorrow! We can do this neighbourly thing!

Parcelforce man comes back this morning. "Can I have the parcel back? They want it redelivered". Whut. Ok, um, here you go.

They'd rather phone Parcelforce to complain that their parcel was left with their next door neighbour, and order the delivery driver to come back and carry it from my house to theirs, than come round and ask their own next door neighbour for their parcel.

<jackiechan.jpg>

You must be a terrible person if your neighbours are so scared of you.

We had a mahoosive headboard ordered to the new gaff and missed the delivery. They left it with our upstairs neighbour, parcel force guy had to carry it upstairs for her (she is tiny). Went round last night to replace the door handle, saw the card, knocked on the neighbour's door, they let me in, I carried the headboard away. 10/10 would miss deliveries again.

Not that this helps.

They would have been charged for the redelivery too! Morans