• I need an etiquette opinion.

    We have numbered racks and allocated spaces at work. If someone is in my space do I

    A) carefully move their bike to another empty space?
    B) rub crotch/bum juices onto their saddle and bars then move their bike to an empty space?
    C) put nails in their tyres, cut their gear cables and undo their stem bolts before shitting on their saddle?

    I have no idea who's bike it is, obviously if I knew I would kill them in the face with fire for such a violation of my personal space.

  • You forgot the typical workplace option: a campaign of passive-aggressive post it notes.

  • C) put nails in their tyres, cut their gear cables and undo their stem bolts before shitting on their saddle?

    Pretty certain I read this almost verbatim in Debrett's.

  • Grass them up to the powers that be by saying the bike has been placed there illegally, and that you think it's stolen and they should confiscate it and turn it over to the police.

  • lock their bike up

  • lock their bike up

    So this. Lock the bike up and leave a note arranging a formal meeting with them in which you grill them and claim the bike as your own.

  • Bet you any money it's someone senior enough they don't need to care, if you do anything other than the British tutting and bitching on a forum you'll get into shit.

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