Brew Cafe, road rage owner

Au contraire Saarf. This is how Shite Alight ® used to work (and still does, for all I know, old traditions die hard etc):

1. Shit in a suitable container, usually a foil tin from a take away.

2. Set it out in the sun to partially dry.

3. Douse it with Paraffin (my mate Alan Steel's dad was into camping).

4. Wait for suitable posh car to roll by (country lane, a long arm launch from a good height).

5. Set alight to aforementioned shite and to the cry of 'Shite Alight'®, take aim and let loose.

6. Stare open mouthed and then laugh like an 11 year old at the incandescent apoplectic rage of a Volvo driver scraping burning shite from off his immaculate windscreen.

We didn't have much, but we had our invention, and each other. What larks.