This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Last tube strike a guy from my office boris biked in and proudly shoved it where I keep my bike. It took him hours to realise that it had therefore cost him £50 for the day. In the end he relied on his think mackem accent to fob off TFL into refunding as he was "just a tourist".

CSB.

Fignon

Thauusands of them, they just kept coming........
Rourkes Square Soho

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Cycled in with my fiancee today. Her first ever commute to work by bike, on a 20 year old Falcon Majorca. Lovely. I was surprised by how understanding people were of her being slow - was expecting lots of dickheadish driving but none was forthcoming.

Christ, that picture reminds me of boxing day and the taste of cooking sherry

Nightmare this morning... CS8 didn't seem too bad, but the pedestrian who was looking at her phone and decided to step out in front of me as I went through a green light was a definite high point. Went into her at 35kmh, there was no way I could avoid her. Not a scratch on her, but my elbow is one massive wound now and the stem on my Bianchi needs straightening. All she cared about was her phone possibly being scratched. Great day.

I like to think I'd have picked it up and smashed it.

Yelled "OH FUCK NO BRAKES!!! SHITTT I CAN'T STOP" through the left turn at Westminster onto Embankment - it was that or stop on a green. Seemed to do the trick, no peds stuck to my handlebars.

In hindsight, picking up a boris bike at Island Gardens to get to Canary Wharf, rather than taking a pleasant 25 minute walk in the sun, was a bad idea this morning. 40 minutes and 8 docking stations later...
And it was stuck in second gear. I was spinning like Chris Froome on cobbles.

I do that... Admittedly usually when I'm lost and interspersed with swearing, looking at Google maps and asking random people for directions. Just for you information when people ask if you need directions in the middle of Glasgow they don't appreciate "yes please, which ways the seaside?"

In hindsight, that's what I should have done... Hopefully should be able to get the bike sorted this evening. If anyone sees a Bianchi Pista with wonky bars going through the streets of Battersea tonight, well... that'll be me.

Coming down Charing X rd, that bus lane is traffic coned from soho until shaftesbury. Light turns green for me heading south onto junction.

Peds all run into road to cross. Asian couple run forward with kid in a pushchair. I slam on my brakes early enough. But the dad, driving the pushchair runs forward a step more, panics, stops dead.

Toddler flies out and faceplants the road.

I shout, 'well that was fucking stupid, what if I was a taxi?' And they barely even acknowledge my existence as they peel their son off the road. I don't think any of the crowd were very impressed.

At least I learnt why pushchairs have seatbelts

Was he wearing a helmet?

If not; no sympathy.

And they barely even acknowledge my existence as they peel their son off the road.

What?!

Parents of hurt child not acknowledging the shouting of a stranger on a bike?

What about your feels?!!?

The terrible cunts.

Giving [pedstrians|Asians|parents|couples] a bad name.

Leyton to my studio in Mile End lengthened because I had to grab some stuff from Soho. Wow! Cluster fuck. I enjoyed it though. I decided to chill right out, cruise about, talked to loads of window down cabbies who seemed resigned to the comedy of it all, elected to whistle a loud tune to alert oblivipeds to my existence... All in all quite a laugh. Some epic douchery on Ken Bikes though.

whistle a loud tune to alert oblivipeds to my existence

This.
This morning it was Hold the Line by Toto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htgr3pvBr-I

The kid had skills though, managed for maximum surface area to road contact. I think every inch of his lil person slammed when he stacked it.

At least I learnt why pushchairs have seatbelts

Yet no bonnet.

Because parents often use the shins of others as a makeshift crumple-zone

Being reported as the rush hour to start at 16:00 as people try and make there way home.

It's not over yet, there coming back......

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Peds all run into road to cross. Asian couple run forward with kid in a pushchair. I slam on my brakes early enough. But the dad, driving the pushchair runs forward a step more, panics, stops dead.

Oh, an Asian couple? Thanks for the info.

Peds have right of way when they are on the road, regardless of if they entered it wrongfully or not. You literally hit a child with your bike, you analbead.

well done for swearing at a man and his kid.

I slam on my brakes early enough. But the dad, driving the pushchair runs forward a step more, panics, stops dead.

Toddler flies out and faceplants the road.

Nah, don't think he did.

So I ended up riding like an asshole. On the way was fine, some massive dick moves

And you identified this - congrats.

Always gotta be ready to stop for things on the road bruv. Welcome to being a road-user.