This morning's commute and other commuting stories

I saw a woman of Afro-Caribbean descent running a red light the other day.

Jamaica?

this is a good point. most often seen when referring to audi or bmw drivers. or indeed 'nodders'.

Bit concerned about a creeping phenomenon: The Hybrid Glide is spreading to single speed riders and must be stopped.

The Hybrid Glide is a posture taken by male (never female) and generally youngish cyclists on hybrids when trying to feel, if not look, cool.

Pedals equalised, hands on handle bars, arse as high in the air as it will go and the glide, free wheeling without a care in the world.

It was just hybrid riders but over the past week or so, I've seen it performed by single speed riders as well.

It must not be allowed to spread further.

Are you following me down hill?

Alaska.

It's a stupid system. The Aussie way is much better.

there is no 'us'

You said you wuvved me...

you don't touch me like you used to!

People who get off their bikes to walk them through red lights [...] you're still cunts.

Right or wrong it's still a dick move. I'm sure I am not the only one muttering 'tosser' under my breath when people do this.

really? do they owe it to you not to do this somehow?

I think it's hilarious, let them. Such an ungainly manoeuver - bailing off the bike, scampering over the road then trying to quickly remount.

personally, I just wonder why they don't just grow a pair and jump the lights properly.

It's a position that makes farting easier, want a demonstration?

I think it's hilarious, let them. Such an ungainly manoeuver - bailing off the bike, scampering over the road then trying to quickly remount.

There practicing there CX skills, perhaps.

The red light scamper is similar to shoaling IMO. There's no direct impact from the act itself, except the people doing it are never quick off the line so you know you're going to spend the next few seconds looking over your shoulder to re-pass the fuckers. I think it's the general principle that a manoeuvre saving them 30 seconds is worth inconveniencing half a dozen other people for that pisses everyone* off.

• or possibly just me.
  
  

All in all though its around number 37 in the great list of shitty things people do on my commute.

So, say you are at the lights at a crossroads and want to turn right, but the road layout is such that it feels dodgy being stuck out in the middle waiting for a gap in the oncoming traffic, for example with two lanes merging to one over the junction and oncoming traffic very close. Is it dickish to get off, use the ped crossings to cross over then remount and pootle off, having thus traversed the junction in a less risky way?

No. You are traffic, and must behave like a motor vehicle.

To the extent that you must do you makeup in your rearview mirror, all the while not looking in your mirror for other road users, while drifting across multiple lanes of traffic.

This.

I do remember seeing one guy who I think must have been training fox CX; leapt off his bike, slung it over his shoulder, legged it across the junction and did a full-on leaping remount.

In contrast I saw someone RLJ like a boss yesterday - head looking up at the sky, Ray Bans, denim shirt, weaving impossibly on a fixie through a six-deep march of commuters across a pelican crossing on Cannon St. Gaps that weren't there - quantum physics student?

if you can't turn right across traffic, how do you navigate any of london's streets?

Had a Gritish Bas driver cut across me just before some red lights this morning forcing me to brake hard into the curb. Tapped on his window and told him he just cut me up, "Sorry mate, but I was indicating." As if that made it OK to try and side swipe me.

It worries me that these are the 'professional drivers.'

I'm a master of the graceful dismount and stroll along with the green man phase on the side road (i.e crossing as a pedestrian with my 'legitimate accompaniment', or whatever the ruling was in that famous case in 1981 ) before a classic scoot and remount on the other side.

I'd never RLJ but there are occasions at lights on quiet roads where you've just missed the green to go straight on and you know the phase of the lights off by heart where I think it's perfectly acceptable.

If I walk my bike onto the pavement, walk it across the green man phase, walk it onto the road the other side, mount and ride off, what possible law am i breaking (apart from in some peoples' eyes being a bit of a twit)?

Where did I say I couldnt?

Might be cyclo-cross training.