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@The_Seldom_Killer
Early morning golf used to be quite commonplace at this time of year when I lived in Canada. Early starts and an unrushed nine in the soft dawn light before heading off to the office. If I were going to fuck up a perfectly good walk in the park by twatting balls all over the place, that's how I would do it. Perhaps it was an outing of the local LGBT golf club and they got a bit embaressed for being caught looking like a pack of fuckwits.
You have to imagine the confession at Golf Twats Anonymous though. "I was stuck there in the bushes for ages. Close to tears, scared that bloke were going to come looking for us. I thought I'd hit rock bottom before, but the shame of it, being seen dressed up as a big orange golf wanker. I'd rather get caught fisting a Tory in the toilets of a primary school."