This morning's commute and other commuting stories

You probably went down the straight marginally faster than the Formula E cars will be going.

Yeah, went over both ways yesterday. Guess it'll be lovely when finished. Not so much right now.

Anyone know a good way of getting from SE15 to Notting Hill ish? Don't have to ride that way often, but when I do it's pretty terrible. Went through Hyde Park around lunch time and fuck me, the tourist wobblers. Was more stressful trying to get past people on Boris Bikes that it was doing the lorry and cab-filled death dash through Victoria - Vauxhall - Oval.

This morning I was travelling down Amwell street towards Margery street, looked over my shoulder and indicated to make the right turn. A man on a black fixed bike shouted at me in approval of my indicating "and you can turn your head at the same time! that's a first this morning!", makes a change to have someone shouting nice things amongst the throng of cyclists down there with questionable bike-wrangling skills (and not cat-calling!). Hello smiley man!

#isittimetostartcallingoutgoodcyclists?

Which bit of SE15? If you are prepared to head to (and through) Battersea Park, there's a simple and pleasant route from Battersea Bridge to Notting Hill.

Nunhead... do show me your route if you've got it tracked please!

Will put up a route tonight.

I had a bit of an odd experience on the way to work this morning.
I set off at 5.15am.
There's no-one about, there never is at that time. My route is canal tow paths through a rural setting, meadows, forest, fields. Really lovely.
After a bit I leave the canal then start a road climb from the bottom of the Aire valley, climbing through a fairly rough council estate, but then past a huge park with its own golf course that is open to the public. There are huge trees dotted throughout the park and the golf course is immaculate.
I'm out of the saddle, climbing the hill with the park to my left, dropping away to the bottom of the valley, a wide open vista for about a mile.
I see four figures on the golf course.
They are strolling up the hill in a line, about eight feet apart.
They are dressed in slacks, sweaters, collared shirts, hats - golf casual.
They are carrying golf bags.
The weird thing is, one is completely dressed in green, one in blue, one in orange, one in pink.
The clothing is exactly the same colour. Not a pale green top with dark green trousers. The colours are identical.
Four men in four different colours, walking up the golf course.
I stop pedalling and stare.
They see me.
They stop walking, then without a sound they separate, heading off in different directions, and then they disappear amongst the trees.
I stare for a bit longer but they never reappear.
Freaking out, I pedal to work pretty fucking sharpish.

What the fuck happened?

Did one of them look like this?

1 Attachment

Microsoft Windows away day?

If it transpires that golf is a game played and enjoyed solely by aliens, the world will actually make more sense.

I thought it might be a Tellytubby thing, but no. Proper golf clobber, only in a single, garish colour each.
It was very surreal.

Which mushrooms did you cook for your breakfast?

Either that or they saw you and said lets all hide, that could really freak him out.

I wondered if I was off my tits but for once I was fine.

Even if they decided to hide for shits and giggles, WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY DOING THERE IN THAT CLOBBER AT THAT TIME IN THE FIRST PLACE??

Teletubbies have hit middle age.

Edit: Must learn to refresh the page. And have an original thought every now and then.

Kensington Palace Gardens is what you want to aim for for heading north in the Hyde Park area. Wave at the security guards!
Ashburn place to cross the A4

I struggle to understand golf, neither the game nor the players, this all seems like perfectly normal behaviour for golfists. Especially the hiding, there are few things I would be more embarrassed to be caught doing at 05.30 in the morning, and I am generally at my most unabashed at 05.30 in the morning.

Early morning golf used to be quite commonplace at this time of year when I lived in Canada. Early starts and an unrushed nine in the soft dawn light before heading off to the office. If I were going to fuck up a perfectly good walk in the park by twatting balls all over the place, that's how I would do it. Perhaps it was an outing of the local LGBT golf club and they got a bit embaressed for being caught looking like a pack of fuckwits.

You have to imagine the confession at Golf Twats Anonymous though. "I was stuck there in the bushes for ages. Close to tears, scared that bloke were going to come looking for us. I thought I'd hit rock bottom before, but the shame of it, being seen dressed up as a big orange golf wanker. I'd rather get caught fisting a Tory in the toilets of a primary school."

Anyone been over Vauxhall bridge? Thoughts on that bit of new cycle track?

North bound from the bus area just before the bridge they've just extended the giveaway line to further up the road. Now its narrower, a lot more than before, although the way the lights are configured, it gives you a little more time to move over to the bus lane. Its a slight improvement, but not much. It feels to me like its more to provide space for the buses crossing over to the bus lane than improving anything for cyclists.

South bound is much better, however I really hope it isn't going to be two way. At peak times, Vauxhall Bridge is heavily used, and ideally there should be a full lane in both directions. If they make it two way, then cyclists going south will go back to having very little room. Where the end of the segregated area merges at the south end of the bridge isn't particularly great at the moment, however I'm hopeful it'll improve as the works progress.

Southbound it will link into 'temporary' routes around Vauxhall gyratory and down Harleyford road to Oval.

It will be two way though, and supposedly take the CSH upto Victoria somehow. Are the flows there quite tidal? or is it going to be a learning experience?

WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY DOING THERE IN THAT CLOBBER AT THAT TIME IN THE FIRST PLACE??

That's all pretty standard golfcunt behaviour, as far as I'm aware.

Yep, I suspect they were playing golf. That is how such people dress. And perhaps they had hit their balls into the trees and were off to look for them.

Guy on bike / female pedestrian collision on the shared path running alongside North Carriage Drive, Hyde Park this morning. Looked pretty bad, but the woman got up and dusted herself down and seemed OK, although had a bloodied hand, and after a quick exchange with the guy on the bike, walked off.

North Carriage Drive is currently closed to traffic to marshal vehicles for the goofy Hyde Park concerts / shows etc. This is currently resulting in epic conflict between people on bikes and walkers, and even between people on bikes, as some of the more goony bikers think it's OK to pelt it down the shared path at a similar velocity as they would the road. Goons.

Was wondering why the road is closed to cyclists though? Is it because conflict is worse between the heavy goods vehicles and cyclists on the road than peds and cyclists on the pavement?