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  • I'd introduce a global ban on locks on bridges. They're everywhere, Paris, Köln, Rome, New York. They have nothing to do with local customs or tradition and everything to do with naff tourist cliché, putting aside the environmental impact of casting all that metal and chucking all those keys into innocent river ecosystems. Melt them all down and make something useful. Maybe a giant snowplough type device for clearing slow-moving unimaginative tourists from busy bridges?

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