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  • I'm knackered after two successive weekends spent in the garden lifting a hideous concrete fake crazy paved path and replacing it with the leftover bits of sandstone from when we had our patio done about 6 years ago. I met many evil-looking spiders, millions of ants, buried house bricks and giant flint nodules. I wrestled with claggy clay, an angle grinder, a bent claw hammer and the roots of a mallow tree. I got through 12 large bags of sharp sand and perfected my use of the rear-wheel steering on the B&Q trolleys. I rewarded myself with one (1) can of fake Heineken.

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