This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Fucking plane tree spunk all up in my face. Post office lady let me off 11 pence under payment though...

Headwind all way in, apart from when there was a crosswind. Quite comical.

Would star in Winnie the Pooh's Blustery Day again 8/10

Yeah, probably correct.
most interesting thing to have happened on my commute for a while

2 weeks off bike + head wind + upset stomach + fixed bike = hurt.

Need to ride again

Managed to make shoulder to shoulder contact with a moped rider but stayed upright on E&C north roundabout who tried to overtake me as I indicated and turned right toward Waterloo Road in the right hand lane coming off NKR.

He decided this was the perfect time to overtake me to go straight on leading to a coming together. Some bloke behind me got the whole thing on camera so I'll see if it gets on youtube later.

Why is it that everyone thinks the stinging fluff stuff is 'sex'? It's seeds ... which, technically, is post-coital innit.

@dubtap you call that pointing at the floor indicating?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVRJsgEwngk

edit - moped still in the wrong lane anyways

@dubtap OHYCCTC

Nicely pwned @Clockwise ... point out that HE'S IN THE WRONG FUCKING LANE.

The wind and tree shit kept the commute interesting today.

ha! Sort of. My hand was definitely off the handlebars :/

I thought I was taking the lane nicely and just letting the guy behind me know where I was going.

But you never predicted a moped* would hop through a gap around three cycles in the right turning lane in order to go straight on. Shame on you.

*does anybody else always read this as the past tense of 'mope'?

No, it's just you.

I still read it as what the missus does to the floor by the back door. Every evening after I traipse in from putting my bike in the shed.

Not sure what @dubtap was saying to the rider but I can't stop putting on a Matt Lucas voice and going naughty, very naughty.

Best "Draw your own collisions" entry ever. The 3D rendering is superb.

Used a train today to get in, still got wet, was late, and it smelt like recent farts

0/10 Would rather walk home

Bastard headwind hungover. That is all.

Ride home should be quick though

Aha, you'd think, right?

Too much wind and too many close cars.

A big fuck you to the twat who undertook me by an inch on the first turn out of my work.

A giant fuck you to the cunt on a motorbike who tried to physically force me off the road at the next lights, who then gave me a load of lip about "you cyclists are all the same" for some reason. I did the only mature thing which was to physically block him with my bike as the lights went green and he nearly had a heart attack with rage.

Fuck you to the messenger who RLJ'd his way from Kennington to Herne Hill but thanks for the free ride behind you on the headwind stretches.

But most of all fuck me up the arse with a Charles and Diana royal wedding commemorative teaspoon for getting wound up by all this shit.

Cracked a rib mountain biking at the weekend, so very tentative commute this morning. Provided easy gratification for non-broken riders who passed me like I was stood still - happy to be of ego-boosting service, ladies and gents.

Hard work cycling home last night, quite enjoyed the crazy wind. Going over London Bridge was comedy.

Will enjoy wind again 8/10

Next time you should probably tell the messenger to fuck off personally:) He won't probab read it hear.
Mister fuck you Internet fuck :)

West Ham bag?

Left the house late, got stuck trying to turn right at a T junction, slow moving traffic but no-one would let me out, got caught just at the next set if lights which has a long phase. Sprint out of them when they changed and through the next to sets with traffic behind, then got overtaken fast and unnecessarily by a Royal Mail van. He immediately had to brake for a queue if traffic and I just blasted past them. Knew I'd struggle to make the train at this point so cranked it up a notch. Ten minutes of going flat out including a bike path straight to the station. Got there with shaking legs and heaving chest, train is delayed by ten minutes.

Good, rambunctious fun though.