Royalty

it's a lizard

It's hatched and it's already eaten the mother but, despite being tumescent, Nicholas Witchell has leapt over the bed, smashed it in the face with an ashtray and got everything under control.

Kay Burley has lost her erection but is downing shots of whisky and baboon semen to maintain the enthusiasm levels required to stand outside a door all day.

William has no idea how he's going to feed another mouth on his £360k a week benefits so he's down at Cash Converters trying to trade in a couple of gold toilet seats and selling locks of his mother's hair to mad Yanks who forgot that the 4th July ever happened....

What I find most disturbing is that many of those Royalty fans (borderline stalkers imho), camped outside for two weeks!! some of them pretty ancient and vulnerable, just to catch a glimpse of a baby. I mean, seriously? That is pretty weird isn't it?

If the vox pops I heard on the news are anything to go by, these are the very same obsessive pilgrims who mourned Diana as if they knew her, subscribe to Royalty Magazine, have rooms in their homes exclusively devoted to Royal memorabilia, and are too thick to realise that by looking at pap photos on sites including the Daily Fail's, they're effectively paying the wages of those they said hounded Diana to her grave.

Even the reporters and cringeworthy 'Royal commentators' waiting around for a bit of action to actually report on, acknowledged there were only so many ways to say the same thing, so instead padded with mind-numbing whimsies and speculation on everything else...

Bizarre.

I feel a bit sorry for this lovely couple having the obligation of exhibit their new born to this crowd and smile at them while knowing and facing them as the electorate of their personal Conservative party; must be quite humiliating. I bet, in private, they say things about them.

diana got a shout out

They interviewed a few of them who said drunks bothered them on Saturday night BUT THEY DON'T CARE, THEY LOVE THE ROYALS. Made me sad. Sad they were abused and sad they spent 3 days lying on the pavement for a family that could be a media construct for all they know.

Aw that is sad :(

Also, could be?

And then is when it comes spontaneous to wonder how many, and whom, knows who owns the majority of the media.

Charlotte? They named her after a fucking potato?

I thought that was just a way to troll Edward.

potatoes... or lizard eggs?

They did it for keeping the plebs having sweet dreams of prosperous fish and chips.

Sad they were abused and sad they spent 3 days lying on the pavement for a family that could be a media construct for all they know

Some of them were there for 3 weeks, including some in their 80s. Lizard mind control fu has much power over the feeble of mind.

You have to hand it to her, she's the spitting image of her paternal great-grandmother.

what an amazing child. barely a few days old and already eminently qualified for all the the duties she will be expected to perform in her life.

Sleeping, drinking and doing fuck all?

wonder how much she has cost the taxpayer so far

wonder if they are capped at £26,000 worth of social security payments like the rest of us

Is that £26k per week or per month?

#bornEqual

You never know, she may end up taking the throne, only to see the utter futility of it all and abdicate, disband the monarchy and give all the money and land back to the people it was taxed from over the centuries.

dibs the cullinan diamond

nice 15% payrise for the leeches

http://uk.businessinsider.com/the-queens-sovereign-grant-is-under-review-because-shes-making-too-much-money-2015-6

Might have to unsubscribe from this thread; it ain't good for the blood pressure.

spanish royalty, just like ours, a little bit racist

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/young-spanish-royal-don-froilan-accused-of-racial-abuse-at-theme-park-after-trying-to-jump-queue-10290219.html

the queen isn't dead

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/bbc-journalist-did-wrongly-tweet-queen-elizabeth-is-dead-10294214.html