This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Just had exactly the same. Two traffic lights on a downhill stretch, I know the sequence so hold the lane riding up to the second red and an estate taxi comes up my offside and starts to barge in, my peripheral vision can see his bonnet, the light is still red, he has nowhere to go, I slow for the red and he's stranded blocking both lanes. So pointless and angry and unnecessary.

Two punctures, rained on and a car-dooring. Shit ride - would prefer not to do again.

@villa-ru Balls! Sounds horrid.

Sometimes I think this kind of chain of events is the universe laughing at us.

it's the baby jesus kicking you in the spirit-balls.

case in point: whilst yelling at a close passing lorry driver this morning - my sodding hat blew off.

FUCKA YU, JESU!!!!

^Did chuckle.

^^^Did not chuckle.

It's a story as old as time, drivers desperate to get past you despite the queue of traffic and/or redlight ahead. You always get a deep sense of satisfaction when either they get stuck somewhere silly on the road, or as you sail past them again filtering through t0 the ASZ.

whilst yelling at a close passing lorry driver this morning - my sodding hat blew off.

That wasn't Jebus, that was deffo Hermes, Roman god associated with hats.

So even wood pidgins are getting in on the headphone wearing debate. I had one fly up from in front of me only to perch on a branch which caused it to sag just enough so that it caught the top of my headphones causing them to come off.

^ Chuckle

Sorry.

Poor sods stuck in cars probably wonder why cyclists are so desperate to filter through to the ASZ despite barely accelerating beyond 10mph when the lights change.

Particularly when the only way to get there is by putting one foot on the kerb and scooting down the 0.5m of space to the left of the left-indicating traffic. Such manoeuvre. Many graceful.

The incidents to which my remark was directed do not resemble either scenario you propose in the slightest

Hope you're all right, Ru? Any injuries? Doorings often cause very bad injuries.

I was pretty sure you would pitch in.

Was the opposite, wasn't it? Deliberately contrasting cyclists being too keen to get to the front with cars being too keen to pass.

Anyone know when they are going to be opening up the Holborn underpass? Heading North on Waterloo Bridge aint pretty at the minute

@Oliver Schick - all fine thanks. low speed incident. Stiff shoulder, few bumps and bruises, but the bike's fine.

Car was in the middle of the road about to turn right, I came round on the left and as I did the passenger decides to jump out and swung the door open into me. 'Sorry I'm a bit late for work, smidsy' etc, etc...

In neither example of cars passing unnecessarily had anything to do with filtering, both were attempts to pass dangerously when the rider was moving with the traffic and had taken primary. I also posted an example a day or two ago when I had a car beeping me when I was in primary despite moving the same speed as the traffic in front. Basically cars trying to pass cyclists when there is nowhere else to go. You and your pal introduced cyclists filtering unnecessarily/dangerously to the front as a strawman. I suggest you read the actual comments before going all Daily Mail.

all Daily Mail

First time I've ever been accused of that. I'll treasure it...

No offence meant - certainly wasn't trying to justify dangerous passes, especially given the danger the gentleman in my example put me in this morning.

@Brun and I were just commenting on the similar "must get to the front despite having nowhere to go" mindset is all, especially as perceived by drivers.

Fairy muff, I was just confused since I neither cycle at 10mph or scoot down gutters, it was more to do with the difficulty of riding in primary sometimes.

Here comes crappy cliché story of the day!

Caledonian Rd, yesterday morning @ 8.57am, I'm in a rush to get to work.

A chappy on a white road bike is riding bladdy fast behind me. In hindsight I think he was in race mode - beat the courier! Up at the north end and prior to the prison, I'm catching some dodgy vibes from his cycling as he impedes on my space and undercuts me when I'm paused at the red light, proceeding in front of the lights so that he couldn't see them change to green. Standard! "This guy's not concentrating", I think. I overtake as the lights flick and hope not to come in contact again.

Down at the bottom of the hill near the Co-op, I'm pacing it pretty quickly, but I indicate and slow down to let a lady cross at the zebra crossing. Next thing I know, this chap on the white road bike has clipped my rear wheel, slammed on his front brake and is flying head over heels cleated, bike in tow, in the most aggy f**king high speed bike crash I've ever seen! It must've been a double somersault! He'd clearly had his head in the clouds and wasn't watching the roads... I suspect a late one the night before!

Surprisingly he doesn't start beefing with me, respect, but he gets up and is clearly in shock. No blood visible, others rush to the scene and I make my exit with my lips sealed. Little sympathy from me - learn from your own mistakes mister!

And a less cliché tip of the day while I'm at it (possibly more crappy though).

You know one way of clocking an undercover copper? Shit jeans which fit badly, sort of flared at the bottom, bad taste. It's an even better give-away than a Superdry jacket.

Look out for this attire on the roads as well!!! It's usually a sign of a crap cyclist. Tried and tested! What d'ya reckon?!

undercover plod? Patchwork leather jacket, stonewash jeans, white reeboks, aviators and a tache. all day long.

Undercover plod, jeans and tshirt, both ironed, cheap crappy trainers that are far to clean... Inability to slouch.

undercover plod? Patchwork leather jacket, stonewash jeans, white reeboks, aviators and a tache. all day long.

That's the guy from the YMCA line up.

The 70's died a long time ago. Get over it.