• I had an opportunity to 'educate' a Bromptonodder on the etiquette of cycling off from lights directly, and purposefully, into a pedestrian (me) but words failed.

    He started off at speed a few feet from where I was crossing, bounced off my 18-stone bulk, stumbled, almost fell off his bike onto a van, then shouted 'BUT THE LIGHTS ARE GREEN!'

    If that's the calibre of cyclist we're dealing with, I suggest letting Darwinian selection take its course.

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