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So every bloke who makes a comment at a woman on a bike is somehow a rapist in wating?? It can actually be meant as a compliment!
thiscocks-
It has happened that people were genuinely trying to be nice to me/my bike and I can guarantee it never started by "nice arse".
I have had some very cool chilled conversations with people at lights or on the road in general and it was always a cool experience, which isn't what we are describing here.
As for therapist in wanting
please read up some of the links that have been quoted and try to understand the topic ever so slightly more ?
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It can actually be meant as a compliment!
If you step on my foot, you need to get off my foot.
If you step on my foot without meaning to, you need to get off my foot.
If you step on my foot without realizing it, you need to get off my foot.
If everyone in your culture steps on feet, your culture is horrible, and you need to get off my foot.
If you have foot-stepping disease, and it makes you unaware you’re stepping on feet, you need to get off my foot. If an event has rules designed to keep people from stepping on feet, you need to follow them. If you think that even with the rules, you won’t be able to avoid stepping on people’s feet, absent yourself from the event until you work something out.
If you’re a serial foot-stepper, and you feel you’re entitled to step on people’s feet because you’re just that awesome and they’re not really people anyway, you’re a bad person and you don’t get to use any of those excuses, limited as they are. And moreover, you need to get off my foot.See, that’s why I don’t get the focus on classifying harassers and figuring out their motives. The victims are just as harassed either way.
(Hershele Ostropoler, in a comment on John Scalzi’s blog post, “Readercon, Harassment, Etc.” )
To the above list, please also add "if you step on my foot as a gesture of appreciation for how incredible my arse/tits/whatever are, you need to get off my foot".
I'm sorry that you haven't read any of the links that have been provided. I'm also sorry that you don't understand the posts that we've made.
I'm sorry that we have a culture in which people can justify their own shitty behaviour and that of others by saying "but wait! Maybe my hidden intention makes this shitty behaviour magically not-shitty!"
Congratulations for being complicit in that.
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Somewhat torn between not wanting to feed the troll and saying, okay if there is the slightest possibility you are not a troll, how can you be reasoned with...
It can actually be meant as a compliment!
What is a compliment? What's its purpose?
Let's say you were wanting to compliment someone - it's about making them feel good about a thing, right? Making them pleased? So if you genuinely wanted to compliment someone on their arse, your aim would be to make them feel pleased that they have a nice arse. So if you knew that you have a very high chance of upsetting someone, bringing their mood right down, by yelling "Nice arse!", surely if you actually wanted to compliment them this would be meaningful to you. It would make you think "Oh, okay. That's not a cool way to compliment someone.", rather than think "Well what do their feelings matter? It's much more important what I meant!"There are a lot of people saying that those "meant as a compliments" verbals, are not appreciated or received as such. If that's considered irrelevant by the complimentor, then that complimentor isn't trying to be nice at all, they're trying to be mean.
Get it?
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bothwell
hoefla
No, you're wrong. It's sexual harassment and it's not done in order to start a flirtation/friendly conversation, it's done to exert male power over a female and is uninvited and intimidating. Maybe you should talk to some females about how it makes them feel and try to understand rather than assert that "it's just a comment". It's not. It's a symptom of a much darker, misogynistic side of our society.