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Getting both surfaces really clean seems to make more difference than keying the metal surface, although a wipe over with some abrasive paper won't do any harm. The Tester Kitchen is always equipped with a big bottle of IPA, for use after any filing/sanding
This kind:
Not this kind:
You can use a pretty fat glue layer with 2-part epoxy, and with the bung I sent you (not the one I'm sending Scilly), you can put a bead around the top to add even more pull-out resistance.
You should be able to get your headset preload dialled in with modest finger pressure on the short arm of the Allen/Torx key, if you're using more than that there's a good chance your top cap is bottomed out on the steerer projection and you either need to trim it or add an extra spacer between top cap and stem.
My Tester stem bung worked really well until I tried to reglue it and filed it for extra adhesion and now it slips, recommended (obvs don't file yours)