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I suspected this may be the case, what a waste of money that was.
In other news, and in stark contrast to TTM, my ftp via 20 minute extrapolation is a low low 247W which at 67kg puts me at 3.69 W/kg.
Although I suspect my test was flawed as I did it in the real world on a real hill with real gravel and real bumps.
No - you have two days to live.