• Stopped at a red light this morning and a van pulled up behind me. When I say behind me, his front bumper was 5cm from my back wheel. I turned to give him "the look" (I used to teach, I have a good disapproving look) and he revved his engine. As I turned away he inched his van closer so he was almost-but-not-quite touching my wheel.
    "What the fuck are you up to?" I said.
    "Dickhead!"
    "U wot mate?"
    "Fucking prick!"
    "I hope your penis rots and falls off"
    I decided to get out of there right then and spent the rest of the commute thinking about how London is a horrible place.

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