How do you troll

https://www.lfgss.com/comments/12105332/

Turning out the lights in the toilets when someone is taking a shit is a good wheeze. (needs bogs with no windows, of course) Wait a minute or two until they're shuffling out of the cubicle holding their pants at half mast to turn the light back on, then barge in and stare at them in horror and revulsion.

Something like this happened to a mate of mine. The lights got turned out by a mental caretaker and it ended up in a fight. My friend got a beating because he's a soft shite.

Even with his cock out and the hand-fulls of available shit? That's truly pissweak..

I usually make overtly racist comments or threaten to rape / kill people.

#bogwanker

When I'm bored, I pull the Internet cables off the pc's at work. I pull them out just slightly so it's still in place but not clicked in on the socket. It looks like it's connected but it's really not. Worse thing that happened was people from the IT department had to change some pc's in my department cuz they didn't know what was going on.

Been doing this at least once or twice a month for 2 years now. Consistency... Oh and obviously, I can't tell them it's me as I'm wasting people's time :p

Oh and sello taping a piece of paper underneath a mouse. Small enough to not be noticeable

Poor little mouse.

Oh and sello taping a piece of paper underneath a mouse. Small enough to not be noticeable>

This is like a modern day equivalent of the old classic "steal all the mouse balls from the IT department" at school..

not my troll move, but got some man untd footy fan chums
they told me they went to Barcelona to watch the game a few handed, with a loud young turk in tow
after the game, lads went out on the lash, and the said young turk wound up rotten as he couldn't hold his ale, he wound up pretty battered, so they took him back to his hotel room,
upon entering the room he had all but passed out, poss numb with booze and/or recreational subatances
my chums said they draped him over the chair, so head was on cushion and arse skyward, they took his strides down and with the aid of a toothbrush end, inserted a condom into his arse crack
they then went down stairs to the reception and gave the receptionist a generous tip to say to the turk on check out,"Mr so and so, your Arab friend said to thank you very much for a nice evening""
on the return flight home they said the turk was quiet as a lamb and rather pale

Eww!...

When I'm bored, I pull the Internet cables off the pc's at work. I pull them out just slightly so it's still in place but not clicked in on the socket. It looks like it's connected but it's really not. Worse thing that happened was people from the IT department had to change some pc's in my department cuz they didn't know what was going on.

Shit IT department who can't look at two LED's at the back of a PC or a 19" rack at the service riser then. Most of them can of course.

So. Going to call you out on that one.

I work for the NHS, trust me, the IT department we have are completely useless..

They always have these contract workers and no permanent staff at all.

Oh, so it's your fault I had to wait, starved since 8pm the night before, from 0730 til 1730 before the op on my elbow began. In a public waiting room, in a fucking gown and my pants. No one mentioned the wait when they came to get me.

Thanks NHS.

steal all the mouse balls from the IT department" at school..

Woah! I remember those!

Yes. Good. Well done. You should correct their ignorance.
.
One day I'm going to get a job at Starbucks and every time some says 'Can I get a ...' I will reply 'No you cannot. But wait there and I will get it for you'.

Oooh the 'can I get' thing bugs the shit out if me. I had a similar thing with a manager at a job who incessantly (even after I pointedly asked her not to) would say 'Can we make a copy of that for Joe Bloggs'. I was the VT guy and she was a client bod. I made the tapes. Lots and lots of tapes. I never once saw her make a tape, either on her own or doing it with me.

#smallmindedgrumpyfuckersunite!

Ok, for those of you that like to put a bit of tape or paper under an optical mouse. You're a bunch of pissweak amateurs.

Somewhere in most large offices there will be an old IT store for all the useless shit that no one has had the decency to chuck in a skip. Somewhere in there, there will be an old rollerball mouse. Take one of these and remove the rollerball. Switch it for your colleague's mouse and then laugh your fucking hole off when they call up IT to complain their rollerball is missing.

No age old IT store to rummage through? No worries. At some point an optical mouse will break in your office. Acquire this by any means fair or foul. Dismantle this and remove all the innards. At the opportune time, take a knog light and set it to flashing. Pop it in the mouse so it shines through the hole. Screw the mouse back together and switch it out for your colleague's mouse. Laugh your fucking hole off when the call up IT to report their mouse doesn't work and it won't stop flashing.

Uhm, @dan already did the rollerball thing.

Time to read Sabotage in the American Workplace, people. All your ideas are someone else's.

Anyway back to trolling.

I troll cars by knocking on them if they drive too close. Once a punchy south London speccy gangster geezer (you know the type, shabby clothes, votes BNP/UKIP), boxed me in, screeched to a halt, jumped out shouting 'Don't touch my car!!!!'
'You drove too close to me, I needed to warn you that you're endangering me!' (there was a parked car coming up, it was a classic punishment pass - go round then squeeze me having not actually passed).
'Don't fucking touch my car you cunt!'
'You were too close, how could I touch your car unless you were too close?!?'
'I'm gonna fackin do you if you touch my car!'
'I'm gonna bang on your car if you're too close!'
'Don't touch my fuckin car!'
'Don't drive too close then I can't touch it!'

etc etc etc for what seemed like minutes.

He had an 'I am become death destroyer of worlds' blue tfl badge. And a customer in the back.

The speccy smelly benefit cheatin chip eating chav cunt.

Yebbut - if they're supposed to have an optical mouse then it adds more confusion to the IT call who will be convinced they replaced all the old rollerball mouses ages ago.

south London

racist

Oh, and take a bite out of every apple you find.

This has cost me thousands phone repair costs.

I make awful jokes to troll people.

You office types crack me up with your weak-ass trolling. Tree work/rigging humour is far better..
Tying off the lead climbers rope at the base of the tree so they can go neither up, nor down is the classic. Genuinely nothing they can do about it til you untie them. Also, demonstrating knots on new starters by trussing them up in the yard and fucking off to the cafe.
Chucking the new guys lunchbox/kitbag/phone into the back of the truck before chipping several tons of wood over it.
Locking someone in the back while they're taking a piss(tree men piss on the woodchip in the truck) and tipping the back up so they end up pinned to the back doors covered in piss and chips.
Stealing/reversing the chains, draining the fuel and fucking around with the carbs on another teams saws before they head out in the morning.

Probably mostly only funny to other tree guys but physical laddish trolling is still alive and well in the industry. I have experienced all these and more. It's immature and potentially dangerous but y'know, whatever gets you through the long winter days..

It doesn't quite top Pantone Blues levels of physical abuse but the nutters I work with try their best.

Oh, and throwing logs/apples(in autumn) etc. at eachother happens a lot, all fun and games til you break a window or someones wrist....

Oh and trolling the public while up trees has plenty of scope..

Kid's stuff.

I'm a sailor. We just keel haul people.

Haha in my limited experience boaty cunts can be nasty buggers when it comes to practical jokes. I approve entirely.
Filling someones lunchbox with larvae, spiders, woodlice and other gross stuff you find lurking in rotten timber is also a good giggle.