This morning's commute and other commuting stories

While we're dishing out love for the lollipop folk, the dude on Amwell St does a bang up job. Gives plenty of warning when he's about to stop traffic and lets it flow when he can, and you often get a cheerful "good morning".

@Murphys_Law, schoolboy error shaving off the beard in the midst of winter, it being red makes no difference, remember

so fuck 'em.

@andyp, I refer you to the above...

Lessons learned indeed.
I quite like my beard in fact.
Good thing is, it grows back.

Little scrote on foot last night pushed past as I was waiting at lights and kneed my wheel round. Took a little while for the pain to sink in but when he realised he'd scraped his shin down my ice studs, he turned round and yelled 'Get out of the fucking road'.

8/10, would use the road again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3qvosHHcWc

Roads were clear and hardly any slush, not much snow.
Saw some black ice as I turned on to the road work is on. Front wheel went sideways, hit the road, landed on my side and my helmet did its job.
Ended up with a hole in my trousers and one on the arm of my chrome waterproof jacket.
2/10. Will get off and walk next time.

To those 2 douches on Dolans RLJing their way down CS7 towards Clapham tonight. It was me called you out, and will again if you perform your shittery in front of me again.

I have noticed that most suicide pedestrians ignore bicycle bells. Also, my bicycle bell is wooden so doesn't make much noise anyway. So for a while now I have attracted their attention by clearing my throat. A bicycle bell just makes them think "Fucking cyclists, get out of the way", while a throat being cleared from somewhere in the street where they didn't expect it makes them actually look.

It does work, but it got boring. So today I came up with something better. Now, when I see pedestrians who are likely to step into the road without looking, I say "Hello Dave." Which, given the state of my damaged vocal chords, makes me sound just like the creepy blackface guy from League of Gentlemen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkiix0aveRk

It works.

No buses in my bus lane. Moar strikes please! 9/10

Ran over a rats tail, kicked a coot as it ran between my wheels then got a puncture. Glass shard, big hole, tyre less than a week old needs booting.

1/10 seriously considering tannus.

Spotted: Dulwich Paragon full kitter riding a Cervelo thingie with aero frame, full SRAM Red and Wheelsmith deep crabone.

Rode with him very slowly for about 3 miles with him in the small ring.

Just a confusing episode.

you must be the guy who doesent race after work ..

I think the Paragon winter series races are on Thursdays

I have dismissed these as pointless for so long but this is reason enough for me to use them on every London commute ever.

What's wrong with the tried and true "stay the fuck there, fuckwit!"

Didn't notice any difference. Isn't the strike at night?

Loads of buses on my route No fair!

@amey @nathwilson22 I thought maybe that was it. But I was more like c'mon bro, give it some beans. He was saving his legs I guess. But like, really saving them

I race BEFORE work. Had to drop him on Kennington Road. I was like NNNNEEEEEEEEOOOWWW! See ya! Then as I RLJ'd I did a big open arms gesture and pointed to my sponsor's logo.

@biarittz That's because it's a London bus strike. South of the river ain't proper london so shouldn't be as badly affected as proper London.

What would you know about proper London? You're from a shitty little town in the East Midlands, in the shadow of it's more prosperous and better neighbour.

I've been down here for 14 years, long enough to learn that south of the river is just urban wasteland and zombies.

email from TfL not long ago said 47% of buses were running this morning. Will continue into tomorrow morning. Maybe I should go in early to enjoy the empty bus lanes.

I make chicken 'buk buk bukkaw' noises, mostly for my amusement

He's not from Leicester.

He might have been originally but he's from Essex now.