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@Ramsaye
In an attempt to retail this thread from being all about dammit's kitchen and greenhell's misaligned bath tiles, I collected my keys today so I'm now all grown up with a three bed semi in the suburbs of E4.
I've put in a symbolic piece of furniture ahead of the formal move on Monday and started reading the manuals for things like the boiler, it condenses which apparently is good. The fridge, big fuckoff two door American style fridge freezer has an ice dispenser so I've ordered more gin from Tesco as I'm down to my last two bottles.