This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Driven to the Train by The Lurgy (TM).

First time since 4th August. Boo.

No seat but not squashed in. SWT aren't too bad. 3/10.

Uh oh... thanks for the warning!

Headwind+hangover from office bash last night+concrete saddle wasn't pleasant this morning. 5/10.

Slight hangover after work christmas party last night but a great fucking ride due to tail wind all the way to work on CS8 ..

8.5/10

Rode behind, at glorious easy pace, a man playing tunes from device unknown, like it was coming from nowhere and everywhere, for the length of Garrett Lane and more. Highlight: I Feel Love at Tooting Broadway. Yes, yes I did actually. Didn't shouldercheck once but I'm not overtaking, so fuck that. Gave him a little wingman-esque barrier to compensate.

Seeing two too many people lying in the road this week. Run over, as we used to say. Horrible.

was a little car crash in Manor House this morn (seemed like someone pulling out turning right into on coming traffic.) Pretty minor, no death, but was late for work so obvs made it out to be some crash worthy of newspaper headline..

Called a girl a dickhead. There's a blind corner shortly after a set of traffic lights. I habitually get overtaken on the outside of this corner through a pinch point and chevrons, so I also sprint to get to the corner first and take primary through it, but I get drivers endlessly gunning their engines to get past and overtake dangerously. She did it, despite m,y road position and gesticulations to stay back. Predictably they was a car coming the other way so she jagged back to the left and continued until the queue at the roundabout, at which point I overtook her again and shouted the expletive through her open window. It didn't make me feel good, but the adrenalin was flowing and it was just so spontaneous. Perhaps the shock on her face may make her think twice about doing it again, but probably not.

Felt guilty for a few minutes. Need to rethink my reactions.

oh and last night cycled on some roads surrounded by a large housing project being built, so the surface of the road was covered in a slurry-like coating of mud, for about 2 miles. Bike looks like I've taken part in a cyclo-cross race

Yeah, no shitting on the bonnet? You displease us.

Enough rain on my way in today that rad whip skids were abundant but not enough to soak me through. Tailwind too so felt like I was in a wet version of Mash or summat. 9/10. Expect the ride home into the wind to be 2/10.

I followed her home and shat on her bonnet while she slept, a nice curly present for her in the morning

The forum loves you again.

Reminded me of a TIFU I read recently on Reddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2j0mxy/tifu_by_blurting_out_the_first_thing_that_came_to/

So me (23) and my boyfriend (25) are in our bedroom last night, having really great sex, when he suddenly stops. I ask him what he's doing, what's wrong. He moves off the bed, to the bedside table, opens the drawer and proceeds to get down on one knee and open up the box, unveiling a ring and asks me "will you marry me?".
So, i'm sat there, completely gobsmacked at what's happening. After about 30 seconds his face starts turning sour, and I think it's time to say something - I just don't know. So, ofc, I blurt out "you're going to do this now, of all times?".
He started crying, put his clothes back on and left the house. No idea where he went, and he won't answer my calls or respond to our texts. The answer is a yes, and I can't frigging tell him if he won't come back home.
UPDATE: He responded to my call, and said that he was at his parent's house in fucking Pembrokeshire. We had this big argument over the phone over "you come back right now, let me say yes, and give me the car I need to get to work tomorrow.". He refused, and has not responded to my calls yet. Basically, he 'stole' my car (its shared, but he doesn't use it since he uses public transport. I work in Birmingham and need to drive there since its 2 whole fucking hours away), drove to the countryside of bloody Wales, and is now refusing to come back, which made my late for work this morning. Also, when I told him the answer would be a yes, he called me a 'lying bitch'. Nice guy :')
UPDATE 2: He came back at 3AM 14/10/ with my car, woke me up and walked into the room. He told me he was leaving me forever, thinking I would break down into tears and beg for him to come back. He left in a state of fury and I have now just found out after he barged out the door he pissed all over everything in the car and even took a fucking shit in the driver's seat. I'm now waiting for my boss to come pick me up.
So... erm... ya. My poorly-timed (sexy-time poorly-timed) marriage proposal turned into a breakup, boyfriend took a piss and shit in my car. #WINNINGATLYFE

Entirely unrelated, just the shitting really.

^^ Dodged a bullet, more like.

Foffa thread >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Good story. Would read again. 8/10

wow

All I can say is.. I'm annoyed she didn't notice the semen on the steering wheel. It took ages to do that.

If you're having a row with the missus taking a huge dump in her car is kind of a dead-end street. Difficult to recover from that kind of ultimatum, a box of chocolates wouldn't cover it.

An empty 2lb box might......

warm. didn't even bother with the tights under my shorts on the way home, no gloves, no hat nothing.

Just nearly skidded in to the back of a tipper truck down Penton rise because of a massive diesel spill, careful out that way this morning!

Snapped another brake cable so 2 in like 9 months, both jagwire I think and both the barrel bit came clean off in the lever. For tonight I'm going to take the rear cable out and cut it shorter for the front and then ride about half the speed I usually do.

You gotta report it ASAP!

I stopped at the time and rang 101, I know the score :)