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@deleted
That's the classic Anxiety cycle. It is random, and brutal, and completely normal.
Just leave the bike commuting out for a bit, consider a fun ride next weekend (or this if you feel up to it). Nothing serious, and ideally somewhere traffic free (like a goof around a common or something) or at least very low traffic (difficult in London!)- so you trust the bike and yourself again.
Then trial the commute at some point in the future, and if still no good, just pack it in for as long as you need, because London is a shit place to cycle at the best of times, and December is just about one of the worst.