This morning's commute and other commuting stories

I estimate the drivers of about 70% of the vehicles I saw this evening had their faces lit up by a little white lightbox/smartphone in their lap/hand.

Makes me angry about the operation cycle safety bollocks which handed out £millions of fines to riders.
If cyclist safety was really a concern plod would start chasing down the one eye on the road texting/emailing/facebooking/twittering cunts who are bowling along at 30 with no idea what else is on the carriageway with them.

I estimate the drivers of about 70% of the vehicles.

If everyone does it, it become legal.

#letstextanddrive

No it doesn't.

Everyone gets drunk in pubs but that does not make it legal.

cut off by a gormless looking construction worker driving a big bad van doing a right hand turn out of a side street just by the russian embassy on bayswater rd, i.e. crossing and blocking the dual carriage way i was on, his eyes glued to the not-even-that-hot-jogger bouncing along on the pavement.

you my friend are a stereotype

That'll be MI5 then. The jogger was probably a Spectre triple agent or some such.

Everyone gets drunk in pubs but that does not make it legal.

I have some good news...

Drivers are a danger to cyclists we know, but god dam so are other cyclist. Lost count last night the number of cyclist with no lights or lights that barely worked or the ones that have lights but are either covered up by a bag on the back of the bike or a long coat.

Women last night going down Kensington Rd on a town bike long black coat, hood up, no lights, weaving all over the place as I went pass noticed she had massive headphones and was oblivious to all around her. Stop at the lights as she sailed through got to the part when you go left towards Brixton or Straight on to Clapham no looking over her shoulder just moved across from the left to right hand land, causing a motobike to take evasive action.

Just this morning quiet busy going around E&C roundabout lots of huge lorries, guy on a MTB wobbling all over the place as he was texting and paying no attention to these massive lorries. evasive action

Beggars belief that people who decide to ride a bike take no care to help themselves.

Pros -
New, lighter wheels.
Much speed.
New ratio.

Cons -
No skidzzz due to loose lockring and slipping cog.
Knee pain on hills due to new ratio.

6/10

Too damn hot!

7/10

Last night, drafted a roadie from Lewisham to Bromley. When I thanked him for the lift he said I was a confident, safe, and an "excellent rider".
Cheers! 8/10

This morning, saw a guy riding a mini motorbike down the OKR towards Bricklayers. He looked glorious - occasionally scooting along with his feet for a cheeky boost and put a massive smile on both of our faces as we were racing along. 10/10

All kinds of Bad Cyclist shenanigans last night, mainly caused by that half-hearted semi-RLJing where people just gradually drift through the red light into the junction before getting stuck and in everyone's way.

#heyasshole

On the other hand, the constant damp mizzle was oddly refreshing, so perhaps 4 points.

Way home last night an old chap (must have been in his 70s) on a moped drifted across the road straight in to an oncoming SUV... I was right behind him and had one of those time-slowing-down moments as I tried to engage mouth to shout at him... in vain.

He hit the front wing of the car and hit the deck pretty hard, luckily the impact was glancing rather than head on but the poor boy was in a bit of a state. First time what I used in first aid came in handy. Quick triage, in shock, maybe broken leg, not talking, no real response but moving all limbs - phew. Chucked my jacket over him and called an ambulance - by this time quite a few other people and a very upset driver - thankfully a nurse turned up too so I didn't need to pretend anymore. Ambulance came in abt 5 mins which was pretty impressive I thought and he was on a back board and carted off... sadly I have no idea what happened after that so fingers crossed he was ok. Poor bastard, reckon he must have just zoned out or fallen asleep or something...

Soggy gooch, but I did remember to lock the shower room door.

5/10

Calculating the hot-ness of exercising females?

you my friend are a stereotype

Girl on her bike this morning nearly come a cropper at two consecutive junctions after running a red on both of them. The second one was when she was trying to turn right as a fellow RLJer was overtaking her to go straight ahead. Watching them sheepishly look at each other after narrowly avoiding a clash did enhance my smug factor this morning - 8/10

Sitting in the corner of my grandparents' living room covered in walnut veneer?

you my friend are a stereogram

A medical system for finding the exact position of a particular part inside the body before an operation or other procedure...?

you sir are a stereotactic

Doesn't matter, the law doesn't work.

The law works fine, it's just not enforced. Saying the law doesn't work just encourages the call for more laws when law is not the issue. You need to lobby for better enforcement.

Tried to make myself a better person by going to the gym before work this morning. Rewarded with this.

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Given the tatty nature of the bike locked to yours (which I assume is the Peloton?) I think you may be being targeted by bike thieves. It's a fairly common tactic to lock another bike to the intended target, then come back and steal it later.

Either that or the owner of the other bike is a weapons grade moron.

I've been thinking this...and I'm quite scared what the situation will be when I check later. Although, given the other bike was also secured with a separate chain lock (obscured in the photo), I'm hoping that the person is just in fact a bit of a bellend.

Middle-aged rocker from the Valleys, and author of such hits as "Dakota" and "Maybe Tomorrow"?

You, Sir, are a Stereophonic, Sir.

Best be prepared for the rat bike to still be locked to your bike this evening.

And by prepared, I mean hacksaw through the top tube.

Dual audio channelled, internet video communications medium?

You, sir, are a stereo-Skype.