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@NotThamesWater
I've been thinking further -mainly on the problem that you point out, vis. battery & signal.
The primary objective of the unit is to transmit its location when it is stolen, or missing.
Ignoring all other nice-to-have functions, that means you don't need the GPS to be recording except on demand, and you don't need the unit to be transmitting, except on demand.
Our hypothetical unit can be set up to receive instructions over SMS, and transmit over SMS (that's all you need to send the current GPS position) or mobile data for short periods, if you want to track detailed movement.
The GPS need only be active for a minute or two before transmission, in order to get a satellite fix and record a position.
I'm guessing standby time for a mobile device is magnitudes longer than transmission time, particularly if it is single function.
All of these other devices seem to have ridiculous amounts of features, all to the detriment of the core requirement.