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This so much.
Does not help by the fact I can take public transport for free.
I only become aware of how much attention I was required in London after riding in Basque Country, where the government made a massive impact on driver's behaviour when it come to overtaking cyclist, they even have a tv advert demonstrating how to overtake cyclists.
As a result, for the first time (since ever I think), I start to relax and doesn't need to look back that regularly, no longer I have to squeeze the bar in case the person behind me decided to do a punish pass (which is daily).
Perhaps this is the problem. I notice them all, all the time, every time, and they make me really depressed and angry :(