reducing fear when cycling?

You're forgetting all the good stuff, you only remember asshat drivers, the good ones don't hang around in the windmills of your memory. Hitting the sweet spot on London Bridge and coasting slightly downhill the other side. Having fresh oj with bits in on a hot day off the market. Riding in the rain and pretending you're in 'nam. I was more embarrassed when I hired a bike in Berlin and rode like I ride in London, I don't push in or jump reds or anything but on the open road overtake everything, get in front, beat the other rider. Then I realised I was the only person doing that. Everyone was utterly chilled and there was no shouting or punches. In London it's safer to keep up with traffic which means riding assertively which leads to the inevitable conflict of humans competing for a limited resource.

You're forgetting all the good stuff, you only remember asshat drivers,

So true.
It is a slow process. Believe it or not London drivers are so much more tolerant because of the proactive measures that TfL and some London Boroughs have been taking, and London drivers are so much more used to cyclists. I remember the days when every bus driver resented a rider in a bus lane, played the old leapfrog game with us. Today I rode to Thamesmead and back for work noting the many more positive interactions with drivers, especially professional drivers.

TS, @bothwell , persevere, focus on the positives not the occasional idiot. We're getting there, and while cycle skills training isn't a panacea, it definitely opens your eyes to, what may be counter intuitive ways of riding, and highlights small bad habits that may get you squeezed, teaches you to be hyper aware of what's around so you rarely get passed by a driver that you hadn't noticed. I know it's been a forum joke, something for nodders to 'consider'. But even if you don't learn anything new in the couple of hours spent with a cycle trainer, that's free, funded by your taxes, you're not going to be worse off.

And here is a view of cycling in London written by some residents of that chic hip cycle friendly town of Bristol:
http://www.lifecycleuk.org.uk/article/some-thoughts-cycling-london

teaches you to be hyper aware of what's around so you rarely get passed by a driver that you hadn't noticed

Perhaps this is the problem. I notice them all, all the time, every time, and they make me really depressed and angry :(

+1

the fact that one has to be hyper aware really tires me,depresses me, cycling in city should be at least somehow enjoyable - i dont think it's gonna happen even in the next 10 years.

You can understand why people call for segregation.

Cycling should not be the preserver of the bolshy, bloody minded and belligerent.

It's not as if all the arses are on the roads, blimey, the tube isn't full of people going "My dear chap, I insist, after YOU!"

Being barged into on the tube tends not to lead to broken bones and brain damage.

@Clockwise
just have her pootle about a quiet few streets smiling at drivers and waving. practice cycling looking over her shoulder etc.
i'd say unless you're in a state of fear, working on bike handling is the best way to be more confident on the road.

Same. I wish I could get over this but I'm at a point now where I've asked myself "is it worth paying 40 quid a week to not be abused, driven at, or treated like an insect by drivers on my daily commute", and the answer so far has been "yep, that's worth 40 quid a week".

Cunts in cars have ruined everything for me, incrementally, over a long period of time.

That's really sad :( Totally get where you're coming from though. I avoid cycling in rush hours at all costs these days, even if it means being really early. I also usually wear a helmet. When you experience and suffer the consequences of a few random acts of idiot peds/cyclists/drivers ploughing into you, in a sense, it matters not a jot that you do all the right things - the fear sticks :(

I was more embarrassed when I hired a bike in Berlin and rode like I ride in London, I don't push in or jump reds or anything but on the open road overtake everything, get in front, beat the other rider. Then I realised I was the only person doing that.

Have you tried that in London? Go on, dare ya!

On the other hand, silly commuter racing can undeniably be a lot of fun :)

Perhaps this is the problem. I notice them all, all the time, every time, and they make me really depressed and angry :(

This. I look around so much, I swear I look like I've got a nervous tick.

I'm astounded by how many cyclists I see who never look behind them, even when changing lanes, or filtering and often with earphones in so not even relying on sound. Assholes.

I look around so much, I swear I look like I've got a nervous tick.

You mean you still haven't found it? :)

@bothwell ray guns arent here yet only offworld. Advise you take shuttle over and collect some.
There is a small valve removing tool available that renders shraeder valves inoperative that can be used to disable cars parked illegally, a last resort but effective.
Have to agree with Danceskyrider that positive interactions are now as a result of last decade of work, only troglodytes behind wheels are unaware of whats going on, this, compared to the utter invisibility 'we' experienced when I rode in London in 1990s has to be regarded as positive change.
Now excuse me I have limited time left on this planet

.http://www.lfgss.com/conversations/181986/?offset=175

The second post in that thread is heartbreaking.

My current approach for the commute is slow cycling. It seems to keep me sane. Perhaps it’s the reduced stress and tension that comes from having more time to judge things. Perhaps it’s the extrication from the rush-hour psychology.

I was recently in a hurry going home, and having said hello to some forumengers at traffic lights, I rode off more aggressively, though still observing red lights and whatnot. All that happened was that I was caught by one of the aforementioned, slower-paced forumengers (Caz) at each set of lights. There’s not enough time saved through a faster average speed in relation to the increased stress.

I’ve done the whole ‘must keep up with the motorised traffic' thing. In the context of commuting, although there’s a superficial sense of acceptance through integration, the longterm effect is cumulative stress and resentment directed towards other road users. Switching to slower riding is a shock at first because of the slight increase in speed of others passing you, but once you’ve adjusted and adapted it’s okay. You can still be assertive with road positioning, you still get to where you’re going in reasonable time (and can make allowances for the extra 5 minutes or so if it’s a longer commute), and your stress hormones don’t go mental (overtly or covertly).

So here’s me ambling along ~5mph more slowly, and things look better. I save my faster riding for my thrill-seeking outings far beyond the suffocating tendrils of the rush-hour.

Everyone’s different, of course.

reduce fear: keep your eyes closed. what you can't see...

It's recommended when it's not safe to overtake, you cycle in the middle of the lane to avoid dangerous overtaking. This evening coming back I narrowly missed getting totalled by a van's door swinging wide*. Recommended default position is a minimum the width of a car door, or 1/3 into the lane. That's what I go by.

Definitely agree to keep an assertive road position. Keep somewhere that means you're out of the danger zone of both a boris bike and addison lee.

Eye contact with any driver that comes close. Cars at lights, junctions, etc. Clear hand signals and caution.

(*van doors are just that bit wider, and even less visible in the dark)

Back the original point, I would suggest cycle training because it will help your girlfriend to hear how to do cycling from someone who's been hired to tell people about it... Lends an air of truth to it, and when the instructor says cycling is safe it will sound a lot saner than coming from you.

Also 15 miles is a long way for someone who doesn't cycle... 3 miles is probably what most normal people would consider a safe to cycle distance... random numbers from my head, but you need to get away from what you think and try to realise what she is thinking...

As for slain and boffers, sounds a lot like Post traumatic stress syndrome or what ever it's called. Seriously, lots of little events that build up stress levels till you can't do the thing...

Banana in the tail pipe.

Potato is better, then it becomes a spud gun.

Yes

Being barged into on the tube tends not to lead to broken bones and brain damage.

Given a quick think about it, how close is the KSI rate of London commuting by bicycle to the rate for London commuting by train/bus/tube if you consider the various random events over the years (7/7, Kings Cross fire, Ladbroke Grove, Clapham Junction, Hatfield[1], Potters Bar, etc)?

My point is, whatever form of transport, it might be it has about the same level of risk involved. The difference is that you can't do much to mitigate risk of accident due to poorly maintained points when travelling by train, but you can be better prepared when out on your bicycle.

1. I include stuff like this because I was commuting between Cambridge and London when that happened. I still remember walking between the two Hertford stations to be able to get to London with a lot of angry people shouting at some very ashen faced Network Rail employees.
   

Do not think about what might be: only live in the moment and unnecessary fear will vanish.