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@Brun
Homebase had some stuff called rescue tape which seems like the business. Most of the pressure had gone when I replaced the duct tape anyway so I reckon it should be ok for the time being.
Aforementioned forum plumber gave us a call while I was out and reassured me that with the heating off it should be ok. Good job it's not cold yet.
During all this I've discovered that some of the floorboards were rotten as fuck, so tomorrow's business involves replacing those as well. At least I know where the pipes and wires are now.