• The team kit is black shorts, white socks and any team jersey pre-dating the Festina Affair. It's almost a secret society - a sort of anti-club club, a cult even - so there is no official team jersey. And for suggesting that we might like to go with pandas, your membership is hereby revoked. Because that's another thing: Carlos-Weltschmerz abhors novelty jerseys and all those who wear them. We find those Foska ones particularly irksome.

    And I really don't get where you're getting this castle thing from...