This morning's commute and other commuting stories

So what are the 4 essential components of an emergency stop?

Scream, close eyes, crash, cry?

Full marks.

Yesterday some brainy fuckwit moved my shirt into the shower so my genius plan of actually bringing in a jacket to wear on the ride home last night was foiled before I even touched the bike as the shirt was soaked so no point using a jacket. Stupid cunts. Time for hidden camera to watch the door and some crafty revenge..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyEq0QqQ29w

Sherlock!

I give up.

A sweet whip, an arowspok, a Torm jersey and an Addison Lee DETHBRINGER

Weight back, try and keep the bike as upright as possible, brake appropriately, get indignant

Both brakes, weight back (to stop the rear lifting up), feet on pedals (for balance) and braced arms (to stop you moving forward).

You had 2/4.

Given that most people's default stopping technique is to pull the brakes and then step forward it is not surprising that when emergencies occur they just do the same but faster and get catapulted forward.

Jump off and roll in a body tuck formation.

Fuck 'em.

Track them down and kill them.

In the face.

With fire.

3/4 tsp freshly grated ginger
1 1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz Cointreau
1 oz freshly squeezed blood-orange juice

One emergency stop.

Your technique and mine are the same. It is the only way I was able to keep myself from catapulting over the bars into her. Instead she just got the front wheel in the crotch.

So how did you end up on the ground?

I hope you did not mistake her for one of Ealing Broadway's bike stands

couldn't get my feet out of the pedals and she pulled me down as she fell. The whole deal could have been a lot worse...

she gave you an unwanted hug? sounds like sexual assault

Did she scream rape?

Did you scream rape?

Nope. It was the most action I've had in ages.

braced arms (to stop you moving forward).

My wife's mate broke both her wrists by locking her arms out when she hit a pulling out van.

I'd suggest you should lay the bike on it's side and slide with it, you'll upend peds, but pass under HGVs safely.

The idea is you brake in time to not hit a solid object!

I'd suggest you should lay the bike on it's side and slide with it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBlFCH0d3o4

This morning's recurring theme was idiot oncoming cyclists crossing into my lane as a quick way to avoid obstacles (e.g. road works on center lane) which they could easily have passed in their own lane and then, when they saw me, changing direction to come directly at me and just staring at me like lobotomised bulldogs when I gestured at them to move. In contrast, the prat who came zipping out of a side street straight onto the centre line without once looking to his right was at least apologetic when I told him to look where he was going.

@Antidotes I asked if you do not if you will. I remember jumping 1 in a confusion of us both going "are we? aren't we? too late"

Riding through the cathedral close a bloke chatting on a mobile walked out in front of me, swerved round him and he said, down the phone, "oof, I nearly got run over by a cyclist". He says what he sees.