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William.
What you call anti-bike porn, I call "urban camouflage."
I got this frame for a song, when it was mostly just rust. after removing most of the rust, I thought I'd have a nice bike that looks like crap that I wouldn't mind leaving at a train station for the weekend. unfortunately, it was actually sort of nice; so I tried to make it look as ugly as possible.... which made it look hipster-riffic. So I named it Colonel Beardly. but that's another thread.
red + orange + green, with chrome to make it all stand out!
and bare metal from what used to be rust.
and the positives: nice lugs.
So yeah, "urban camouflage." --that's what I keep telling myself.