This morning's commute and other commuting stories

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Kudos to the red fixed scenester on Sydenham Rd this a.m. with an absolute fuckton of weed in your backpack. That was no bag of personal for sure! The kron was melting my nostrils from several bike lengths back. Completely oblivious - hope you didn't get fingered by plod. Though next time I might just mug the shit out of you if there's no-one around... #notreallyjoking

^haha keep us updated, much lulz

Now I'm scared of you. Remind me never to try overtaking you. In anything.

Maybe it's you? Pm'ed

Much lolz.

I'm too fast anywaysss....

But seriously, apart from a bit of effing and blinding I made no aggressive move towards him, and he just did this comedy flinch. I was half a mile or more before he caught up to me again, so his impatience at the overtake ultimately cost him time.

he mistook my pulling away and out to go around the stationary lorry as a move to hit him, at which point he literally cowered and leaned back, shielding his face with his arms

Tastes so sweet

In reply to XavJ, no?

Applicable to all of the above

Got a severe case of punctureitis at the moment. Why do these things come in such waves!?! Started with two punctures on the RideLondon, one of them outside the Millbank pizza express. This is both part of my commute and less than 1k from the finish... Next , two punctures on a ride round the Mabie forest the next week on my mtn bike, one front one rear. Another puncture the next day even though id swapped rear tyres + inner tube...Last week, picked up my beater to find the rear was flat. I'd ridden it to the shops the day before and all felt fine. Yesterday out with the little one on a jaunt to Bishops Park aboard the other half's shopper bike. Slow flat when we got to the swings....This morning back on the nice roadie. Got the dreaded hiss halfway through Batersea park. New Vitoria Rubino Pro Techs only installed last week. How is this possible? I need a cure!

Happened to me a year or two ago. I worked it out that I had bought 21 tubes in one month.
Hopefully the spell will pass soon mate

Out of interest, did you mean your username to be 'scrabblepouch'?

@scoblepouch

Indeed, however the error was actually made 15 years ago when setting up my first hotmail account. Not a winning sign when you can't spell scrable.

So over the weekend I did 90 fixed miles, and while I felt fine save for the saddle sores on the actual ride, when I came to get on my bike on Monday morning, my knee was extremely painful. With no viable alternative commute, I cycled anyway.
This was fine until a guy on a huge MTB sat behind me all the way home last night before eventually passing me, revealing that he was wearing some kind of face mask...
This was also fine, until he did the same on the way to work this morning.

Angry cyclist shouting "There's only one left turn lane back there!" at a van.
Other cyclists (and van driver) saying "No, there're two."

(Turning left from Lambeth Palace Road onto Westminster Bridge Road)

^Cyclists on their high horses. I witnessed some preachy cunt have a go at a bus for being in the ASL, then bust a red 200m later. What a dick.

Cyclists on horses? How does that work?

magnets

Horse shoe magnets

10 days off the bike on holiday. Damn I love my bike, even the shitty ride to work was good.

Yeah, so riding to work again. Yay.

rollers strapped to the saddle

Absolutely pissing it down here. Took the train to work for the first time in six months, owing to my bike being utterly shit in the wet.

You just made me go to the window and check whether it was raining. Thank fuck for that.