Ways not to lock your bike

That is amazing, and warrants a list of (unanswerable) questions.

1. Did the owner lug around three d-locks in anticipation of such a locking scenario?
   
2. How much time did they allot to determine the absolute worst locking arrangement given the locks available to them?
   
3. What happens if/when those doors get opened and a stampede of tired and hungry office workers pour out?
   
4. What is that on the top tube? Another lock of some sort?
   
5. Who the fuck puts a mirror on the left?