Football

74 min: Before the season began, various pundits were predicting that Manchester United’s absence from Europe this season would be a huge advantage in their Premier League title-tilt, because they’d have fewer matches to play than teams such as Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal. They’ll be considered a shoo-in for the league after this.

Too trolling. Anyone other than MK Dons and I'd be delighted. They're another one of the kinds of club who deserve a cunt like van Gaal.