Football

Suarez won the ball in the opposition half more times than any other player in the league last season.
I thought Can was bought in to battle the ball in the opposition half. I will be disappointed if we do not see him starting soon

Football Weekly Extra doesn't go out until this evening, so we can probably expect an Cornupdate around midday tomorrow.

He'll eat Brenda for breakfast... I still like him, the game needs loons like him...

Nah, Brenda's just as big headed and crackers as he is, they'll get along great. But otherwise you're right, that dull as shit team needs an entertainer and he's a funny fucker.

Can't wait... When are we getting the ignore function back? I can only deal with so many whoppers...

@mikec new script time?

Such a delicate flower, Joe.

This thread needs more diversity. It's dull as fuck these days.

I for one am happy that Balotelli will return to the PL - if only for the post match interviews. I have dreams that one day Mourinho will sign him and they can do double-act interviews together.

I blame the scouse and Midlands continents.

I have already written a script I posted it a while back somewhere. It doesn't ignore but it turns posts into Lorem Ipsum for those on a list. I did it they day this new place went live as it was just too much

Have you guys seen the Malky Mackay quotes? racism, sexism, and homophobia... the guy is a triple threat. Looking foward to seeing him resurface on I'm A Celebrity ten years from now. The daily fail link within the below includes details of what he actually said, but I'm loathe to link to them directly.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/aug/21/malky-mackay-iain-moody-dossier-fa-cardiff-city

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of "de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum" (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..", comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

I don't believe there is a popular belief that Lorum ipsum is random text.

Oh...and @jaw - you forgot the East before Midlands.

East, West. Who cares? It's all up north where the sun doesn't shine.

I'm not going to profess to have a huge knowledge of Destro but have seen him play 6/7 times.

I wouldn't see the advantage of the transfer for Chelsea. He doesn't have pace to burn, though he's a decent finisher. I think he would take 6 months to adapt to the Premier league (Osvaldo/Soldado etc). Chelsea and Roma play very simililar styles of football, so that could be the thinking.

I'd have stuck with Demba Ba to be honest.

Sounds exactly like what we need.

Morata went to Juve 7 weeks ago! He got injured straight away but will be back soon.

it seems strange that Real fought so hard to keep him last season, and let him go so easily this. Also do Real have a buyback clause like Barca have been inserting into contracts, and why the teams that were sniffing round him last year weren't in for him this year.

I hope the Balotelli thing happens; he was incredibly entertaining when he was at city & it'll be good to have another "character" in the team.

I also think Rodgers will do a decent job of managing his off-field madness - he did quite well with Suarez given how bad he was when he took over. Seems to have sorted Sterling out a bit too (or the press have stopped reporting his misdemeanors).

Yup - they have a buy back clause. This is what put most clubs off.

Well Betfair have him at 1-6 on to be a Liverpool player by the end of August so it's probably a done deal. Should be fun

No one is a direct replacement for Suarez... Sanchez was close...

He scored a lot for Milan who now can't afford to keep him, hence the decent price. I just hope he's matured a bit since his City days. I'm still in two minds about the whole thing... Great talent but batshit crazy

Here you go. In keeping with instructions, implausibly tame.

http://www.chelseasupportersgroup.net/2014/08/driver-on-the-wings-weather-for-chelsea-v-leicester-2/

I don't get it; your lot didn't play as much as other members in the national squad yet Kroos is back to playing as well as...you get my point.

Indeed. Anyway, I thought that koppites only sung about their won team.

For an intelligent man you talk some gash.