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Don't be silly, why would I?

Quick Google and I found this;

Data on condom breakage and slippage from a nationally representative survey show that the average condom breakage rate experienced by 20-39-year-old men who have used a condom in the preceding six months was 2.7%, and that 1.9% of all condoms used during that time broke. Comparable condom slippage rates are 2.7% and 2.0%, respectively. Condom breakage and slippage appear to be 4-5 times higher among black men than among men of other races. Levels of breakage and slippage are also elevated among low-income men and those who used condoms relatively infrequently in the six months before the survey. The data also indicate that men who engage in high-risk sexual behavior, such as having multiple partners and engaging in anal intercourse, are more likely to experience condom breakage and slippage.

http://animals.io9.com/this-worm-is-truly-deeply-terrifying-1622516345

Not true. I, like most men, keep a small air compressor near my bed to ensure perfect condom application.*

*j/k I don't use condoms. What do I look like?

edscobles google search history is ........ insert your own comment here

We've all seen Ed's attempts at getting rubber on.

never gets old

Now that's how you put a condom on

Lol. Where I'm from a greggs bag is the best kind of prophylactic.

There's a joke about sausage rolls here, but I'm going to pretend like I'm too high minded to make it when in fact I just can't be arsed to think because fuck thinking on a Monday morning.

I don't think you'd need protection if you stuck it in a Gregg's sausage roll.

Unless it was still hot, of course.

I dunno if I share your confidence about the sexual health of Greggs' sausage rolls.

Fuck you and your snack shaming.

(Russian sailors rescue stranded dog.)

Aww <3

(Russian sailors rescue stranded dog.)

I was expecting him to jump back in at the last minute.

http://37.media.tumblr.com/bc6d53fab975f6152289ddcd1acb173d/tumblr_n8qbhumgyE1qdlh1io1_250.gif

^repost.

Full video here http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d5e_1408462761