Functional bikes. Not Porn not Anti

I couldn't conceive of a world where I'd ride a bike in a manner which
would allow for the enjoyment of a mid-ride sip on a cup of coffee.

I don't disagree, and wouldn't use it all the time (I've only installed the handlebar cage yesterday)
I thought it was good though. I commute from home to where I work, get my coffee, and can then easily carry it from the caf to the office. I've installed it as a coffee cup holder, but it's a normal bottle cage, just set vertically as opposed to the downtube one. I'll probably get bored of it at some point too, which is the case everytime I fall for that kind of gadgets. If it's a paper cup it needs a piece of clear tape over the hole or it splashes a bit when riding over bumps.

On another note I've shellac-ed the coton tape. Second time in my life I do this and I really live the stuff.