This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Madness on the cycle lane today. There was cars and vans parking, swerving over, going in and out of driveways without looking and peds wandering around.

black cab driver in both lanes, driving badly and slowly, overtook, looked into cab, driver was not on one phone but TWO! looking at one in each hand while he was steering with his forearms.

shouted at him.

would happily cycle more miles to avoid commercial st/clerkenwell/old st/ euston horrors but don't really see how else to get from whitechapel to camden!

Don't shout, take registration and report.

Actually I usually do a sarcastic phone thing or tap on their window before the 'report' step but be prepared to move away quick as some of the dangerous fucks don't appreciated being called out.

i should have, but was past him and didn't fancy trying to look round to get the plates in that traffic. would prob forget it too, terrible memory!

Take a photo on your phone? ;-)

Shit on his bonnet, other people will photograph that and you can get his plate off twitter later.

More hilarious Old Street interactions.

A) Crossing Old Street (Westbound) near the Tescos, a gentleman is standing about a meter in to the road, looking at his phone. A scooter rides past without even slowing down and takes his phone out of his hand with a wing-mirror a la:

B) Some piece in OPQS gear tries to quickly one-foot-scoot across the same junction, only to realise that he has to swerve his bike through the incoming flood of cyclists, expect with no real control. A chap on a SS something or other with deep rims just about misses him, and proceeds to stand directly in front of him while calling him a cunt and very pointedly asking what the was thinking. Top marks.

Dude who rides a white create/no logo gas pipe frame with white rims and purple hubs, moustache bars past LMNH errrrday. Brakless even though you have front and rear drilling. You have absolutely no control over slowing down and put more effort into stopping than you do cycling, just get a fucking brake.

Pretty quite commute in this morning, though there was some sort of gridlock around Kings Cross.

Did see one guy going down greys inn road, squashing his bike helmet onto his head. It was clearly unclipped and didn't look like the clips were broken. I confess I did think about tipping the back of it as I rode past, but that would be bad so I didn't.

Anyone heard that operatic scooter man yet? Followed him down Hackney road all the way to Silicon implant roundabout last week. Initially thought it was his radio he was that fucking good, really bellowing it out. Totally made my morning!

Did he have an Aussie flag sticker on the scooter and look part Chinese?

If so, I know him. Top bloke. He'd love it that people get a kick out of hearing him sing.

Been cycling in France this last week, how nice are the French roads, drivers Paris on the other hand is an arse.

Guy cycling along completely barefoot towards London Bridge. One step further than fucking flip-flops.

Jinxed my gf's commute this morning when I made a point of telling her she really should learn how to fix a puncture...

Guy next to me this morning on Piccadilly had a clip out fail. Wibble wobble.... frantic attempt to unclip.... fall, just as the lights turned to green.

Felt sorry for him. We've all done it!

Some total bell-end in chef trousers, on a creaking shit heap in front of me on a shared use path. I'd been trundling, waiting for the chance to get by. When he eventually noticed me he gave it a triple take, sped up and then, as the path widened, started sprinting. He looked back again and as I was in the process of trundling past, he gave it Cav's 'second kick'. Maybe it was playful rather than macho. I doubt it. I should have told him to 'go chop an onion' or something.

My commute is still amazing.
You all need to cheer up, or move out of London.
Today I rode in in crisp, rained overnight, but sunny air, over Stanton Dale, and into Derby with barely any traffic.
On the way home a car was dumping fumes so I pulled off down a side road and had fun.

Trust me, I'd rather have a shitty commute than still live in Nottingam ;)

I had the misfortune to live in Derby for 6 months. I'd rather shitty commutes in London.

Did he have an Aussie flag sticker on the scooter and look part Chinese?

If so, I know him. Top bloke. He'd love it that people get a kick out of hearing him sing.

Yes this is him, and the forum comes up trumps again!!

Pinch flat from trying to bunnyhop up the curb and failing.
Cue walk of shame.

A dog did the most enormous semi liquid shit right in the middle of the road. (where Drayton Park crosses Holloway road).
All cyclists at lights disgusted as the owner chose to ignore it and walk on.

As a dog-owner I can see why: picking up enormous semi-liquid shits with a plastic bag over yopur hand is problematic at the best of times. Chances are half of it would be left anyway. Factor in it is in the middle of the road, so having to fish around for the bag, get the bag on your hand, pick up the problematic shit, tie the bag up, while holding a dog in the middle of the road when the lights are about to change.

I'm not saying he should have left it, but there are factors at play here. Given both the unpredictable nature of both dogs and traffic I try not to linger on the road when I walking them.

@Jimmy_Fingers
To be fair there is no way I would have picked it up!
Its was actually quite amusing, an important point missed from my original post.

Ha! Yes, the semi-liquid state means you have to scrap it off tarmac with your fingers pretty much. Some shits are unpickupable, so on grass require being buried under leaves. No where to hide on the road though, but should be washed away pretty fast

Got buzzed by some twat in a British Gas van this morning. Tweeted British Gas about it and although I've had no reply from them, loads of people have been retweeting it. Twitter weirds me out when this happens.