I once had a conversation with a doctor regarding heavy smoking, binging, etc., and he explained that in some respect it can be another form of self harm. I wonder if anyone else has any thoughts regarding this.
IMO and evidence based practice backs me up, binge drinking, cutting, non suicidal intent o/d's, binge eating, morbid obesity, getting into arguments or fights, isolative type behaviour, self neglect etc, are classed as deliberate self harm usually as a result of; negative automatic thoughts -----> negative filtering -----> dysfunctional beliefs -----> maladaptive coping strategies, I.e., DSH, SI.
I agree with this, along with dating inappropriate people, destructive relationships etc. because if you truly loved yourself you wouldn't abuse yourself mentally or physically this way.
I agree this is a partial answer as to why people do these things, and continue to, long after they want to stop - so learning to be loving and compassionate towards oneself is vital in order to overcome them.
However, there is an uncomfortable truth to consider which is that while people who suffer from addictions, depression, anxiety disorders, self harm etc. very often have negative core beliefs about themselves, and have very strong self sabotage instincts, rules, unachievable goals/standards, etc., I think they use behaviours, for the most part, to sooth, relax, comfort and numb themselves - basically because it feels good, or at least better than the pain felt if they didn't, or it's simply a case of better the devil they know.
To put it another way - Who can honestly say that in the moment they're lighting up a cigarette or necking another shot of alcohol, they're thinking, "I hate myself so much I am doing this to hurt and cause myself to suffer"?
People also do these things because it's all they know, all they have learned in order to escape/cope with difficult emotions. As well as this, we are creatures of habit - why would our brains struggle to learn a new way of doing things when the old way is so entrenched? So there's an inevitability or resignation process activated in our brains tell us to just do what we always do.
Those are my thoughts anyway. Like I say, not easy to acknowledge in oneself, but really important insight when you do :)
However, there is an uncomfortable truth to consider which is that while people who suffer from addictions, depression, anxiety disorders, self harm etc. very often have negative core beliefs about themselves, and have very strong self sabotage instincts, rules, unachievable goals/standards, etc., I think they use behaviours, for the most part, to sooth, relax, comfort and numb themselves - basically because it feels good, or at least better than the pain felt if they didn't, or it's simply a case of better the devil they know.
To put it another way - Who can honestly say that in the moment they're lighting up a cigarette or necking another shot of alcohol, they're thinking, "I hate myself so much I am doing this to hurt and cause myself to suffer"?
People also do these things because it's all they know, all they have learned in order to escape/cope with difficult emotions. As well as this, we are creatures of habit - why would our brains struggle to learn a new way of doing things when the old way is so entrenched? So there's an inevitability or resignation process activated in our brains tell us to just do what we always do.
Those are my thoughts anyway. Like I say, not easy to acknowledge in oneself, but really important insight when you do :)