Bike noise, creak, click, creaks, clicks, clicking, pinging sound - help

...Torque is... eh. Turn allen hard till it don't go no further, then add another quartern turn #failproof
I'll bet you ten pints, that this is your problem.

I can't justify a big torque wrench at present, so I get the LBS to do it: it's a two-minute, fiver/favour sort of job.

The clicking noise, will be your BB cups getting fucked :)