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@HatBeard
ride the poor. piggyback rides are the safest way to travel in london
we can have the poor just wander around london (picking up trash and such when they're not carrying a fare) and when someone needs to get somewhere they just hop on their back and tell them where they need to go.
if you think about it, it solves so many problems.
-improved fitness means less burden on nhs
-no such thing as unemployed anymore, zero unemployment!
-we can get sports clothing companies to sponsor it and the poor still get to wear their fila/adidas/nike clothes they covet so much, only now it fills the nations coffers too.
-pedestrians literally have right of way everywhere, no such thing as jumping red lights, journey times in the city will be slashed.
-when they finish work at the end of the day we can just hose them down with our new water cannons and not only will it ensure they disperse properly after but it'll prevent any kind of uprising based on poor working conditions. , plus they'll likely be too tired to fight anything.
-the poor can keep their tips which means we won't have to pay them or give them benefits
in honour of our great leader I propose we call the scheme 'Boris Backies' but as it's creator I demand 30% of the takings.
patent pending.