Motorcycle and Scooter appreciation

Oh god, the hipsterness...
Bikes obviously never ridden, bar stocking nothing but apricot flavoured cider (cos that's really what bikers drink), sea kelp hand moisturiser in the gents...
I may have been the only person there who wasn't wearing a faux-vintage barbour jacket.

I was going to go down there after I remove the annoying fucking alarm from my Triumph, but your description, combined with the fact that they are charging a tenner for the privilege has made me think twice.