Rap battle thread.

My bike lightweight premium

Your bike? Made of scaff pipe drillium

My bike look good, period immaculate

Your bike too fucked for anyone to call a rat

My bike locked up properly

Your bike ends up in lost property

My bike silent flyin’ through the city streets

Your bike groaning,only knows defeats

My bike awarded a knighthood

Your bike couldn’t find its ass with a cattle prod

It’s time to let the forum know (uh huh) your bike is only so-so

(apologies to Avalon, Legacy and Awkwafina)

Trying to find some kind of steel screw
Don't know what it's called so I'm gonna ask you
It's a kind of washer and it's real deep
The sides are rounded and are really steep
You could fit a screw inside, snug and tight
If anyone can help that'd be well alright
I got a photo, take a look below
If there's any pros that know then you're my hero.

I'm looking at your hardware,
It's fronting like its superior,
Thinking it's pretty specialised,
With it's shapely interior,
Reminds me of a PMP seatpost clamp screwcap,
Fucking ballache material to acquire,
All 9 euros each, plus 20 fucking euros shipping from Italy.

Word.

I'm back and I'm bad, this much is true
But I'm rolling on my own, got no sweet fixeh crew
Like a cross of Messyrage and yer man Johnny Rau
If you buy from me you'll likely say 'Ow
Bollocks' Yes, I'll sell you a pup
Moan on the forum and I'll say shut up
PayPal gift for hundreds of pounds
Under my bed is where I've got mounds
Of cash, a stash, a wad to flash
More money in bike parts than I made in selling hash

^^^
Don't know who that is and I couldn't care less
Tell me what I want as I'm beginning to get stressed
I'm off work cause I've got a sniffly cold
My red nose is running and I'm aching like I'm old
All I did today was eat some toast and have a bath
My nose hurts when I sneeze and my throat hurts when I laugh
I want my girlfriend to bring me lemsip and food
Then I'll be happy and I'll stop being rude

^^
Oh shit he dropped the Rau bomb
That little kid was straight out of a sitcom
Please buy this and please buy that
Now Rau's got your money and you won't get it back
J Rau's the name and swindling's the game
If I can't sell on here then I'll change my name
Now everyone hates me and I've become a meme
My face is everywhere and they've busted my scheme

Sorethroat you say you're ill
But have you tried a pill?
Maybe gin and tonic
Or something hydroponic
A touch of homeopathy
To rebalance your chi (you see)
It's only sugar and water
But something that you oughta
Try, it'll fix your tickly throat
But not your tickly scrote
You'll need the clinic for that...

There's dirty talk up in this bitch
'Bout how I rock hi-viz
Fuck y'all plenty
I wear anything in my own crib
Shit's nasty when I grab
A Pimm's from my ghetto kitchen
Living out on the edge while
Y'all play like a weak Tim Minchin

Hi there to all my rap bat fam
It's the weekend and I don't give a damn
Swearing is for sillies, it's so last year
I'm still polite after 10 pints of beer
My cold has regressed and I feel great
I'm no longer stressed, I'm gonna go for a skate
Telegraph hill has a fun little park
It's really thin and has no lights after dark
I hope this weekend stays nice and bright
I wanna get fucked up and stay up all night
The thing is I got up at 06:10
I'll probs fall asleep and wake up covered in pen.

Try to CTRL+C
You'll get CTRL+V'd
Try to CTRL+C
You'll get CTRL+X

Y'all off key like double-0-Langster
whip skiddin like you gangster
but I know the truth
you're struggling with the presta
getting chumped by the pump chord
I'm nutmegging you like Polo's inesta.