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@hats
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. What I'm holding on to as a consolation is that in six months I've gone from fuck all running to completing a marathon - and I went from hating running to actually quite enjoying long runs by myself with some music to listen to and thoughts to process. I might actually keep doing those. And I want to make running more fun, less serious business and more enjoying myself. Life's too short for epic suffering and beating myself up about things.