Custom Orlowski Workhorse

There's an engineering solution for that, and it's right here.
I can understand why it hasn't become popular amongst people under the age of 80 though.

Ha! that's not what I was expecting to see

The rack in the Dolan is a Tubus Fly?

No, it isn't, it's a Tortec Ultralight:

I kind of wanted the Fly (as it looks nicer) when I bought this one but the Tortec wins on all other criteria. I think it costs about a third of the price of the Fly, is easy to fit and will solidly carry 25kg (which tbh is way more than you'd want strapped to the back of your bike).