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@krikov
Soz for lowering the tone but this is something that has puzzled me in the past - how long does it take people to read actual novels that are left in the toilet? Too much detail here I'm sure but I only go for a shit when I feel like I need one. In and out in a couple of minutes.
Do people take ages to do the actual shit, shit then sit around reading for ages after they're done, or just go sit on the throne when they don't feel the need, read and wait for the BM?